


Destined to Fall

by setosdarkness



Series: OTP Collection - JuHaku [18]
Category: Magi: The Labyrinth of Magic
Genre: JuHaku headcanons, M/M, Manga Spoilers, all the feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-12
Updated: 2015-01-18
Packaged: 2018-03-07 05:20:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 33,827
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3162740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/setosdarkness/pseuds/setosdarkness
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Judar and Hakuryuu: the black magi and the king he has chosen. Destiny is absolute and they are destined to fall together.</p><p>[OR: Judar and Hakuryuu from ten years ago until present]<br/>[OR: the magi manga, seen through the JuHaku shipping lens]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. children inside birdcages

**Author's Note:**

  * For [PreseaMoon](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PreseaMoon/gifts).



> Hello, Chelsea!!! ❤
> 
> I finally finished this!!! I hope you enjoy this monstrous (LOL) fic - which is basically just a mash-up of our JuHaku headcanons and stuff, all to the tune of the juhakuweek prompts. It got super long!
> 
> Also, while this is definitely not canon... I did my best to not write anything that directly contradicts canon? (if that makes sense...?)

••• **01 – Childhood – "children inside birdcages"**

 _Is that the angel who flew down from the twilight sky?  
_ _Is that the devil who crawled out of the crevice?_

 _Tears, anger, compassion, cruelty._  
 _Peace, chaos, faith, betrayal._  
 _We will fight against our fate  
_ _We must not give in to our fate._

 _With sorrow and confidence in our hearts,_  
 _We show the will to move on  
_ _No one shall be willfully deprived of their life_

•••

Judar arrives in Rakushou on an otherwise normal day.

Hakuryuu has heard about the one who's supposedly someone important, with the way that his brothers have talked about his arrival with hushed, dark voices that they only use whenever they're talking about something serious that can't be overheard by anyone. He hears something about 'priest', 'oracle', 'dungeons' and 'world abnormalities', but he draws a blank at those terms. It's not like Hakuryuu can ask them to explain to him, because he's not supposed to be listening in anyway. It's just that he fell asleep trying to finish the scroll his sister asked him to complete, and when he woke up, they were already there, talking about important crown prince matters.

Instinctively, Hakuryuu _knows_ that he shouldn't know about it.

In any case, he knows that the new arrival is named Judar and is apparently important, but for all the furious whispering and the noisy fanfare, he doesn't quite expect the other to be so… _small_.

Granted, he's also rather small compared to his brothers and sister, but that's just because he still has growing up to do. And it's not like he's surrounded by that much servants and veiled men. Hakuryuu's only seen something like that when they were celebrating his father's birthday.

Hakuryuu pouts as he hides behind the great white pillar and sneaks as many glances as he can towards the other kid wrapped in so many layers of cloth. He keeps his ears perked up to listen for anyone calling for him, because he might need to greet the visitor alongside his brothers and sister.

Before any of that happens though, the visitor – _the great oracle_ , according to the advisors milling around him – swings his head around, locks eyes with him, and his sleepy-eyed bored look is replaced with wide-eyed wonder.

Hakuryuu fidgets, feeling something wash over him with that sight.

His vision suddenly darkens, despite the almost blinding intensity of the lights and torches around. He blinks and regrets doing so, because he doesn't have enough time to react to the sudden blur _flying_ towards him.

Hakuryuu puts his hands in front of him, not quite sure if he wants to deflect the other's approach or if he wants to catch him. He's robbed of making that choice when Judar easily squeezes himself into the space provided by Hakuryuu's outstretched arms, allowing himself to be caught. Hakuryuu takes a couple of steps back, eyes tearing slightly as he staggers from the sudden weight. Everything of him suddenly zeroes in on the person in his arms, cool to the touch, but still kind of heavy. Hakuryuu awkwardly settles his hands on the other's clothed back, drumming his fingers against his spine as he wills the other to move away so he can breathe easier.

"My king!" Judar proclaims as he takes a small step back, his red eyes practically outshining the festival-like lights overhead. "You're gonna be my king, aren't you?"

Hakuryuu's suddenly aware of his brothers nearby, looking at him and at Judar disapprovingly. Hakuryuu feels tears go to his eyes at the thought of ruining the ceremony somehow, even if it's not really his fault that the visitor just leaped at him. Hakuryuu sees his mother approach them, smiling in a way that makes him kind of nervous. He's not sure why he doesn't like seeing his mother smile recently, almost as though something has changed about her. He's not very smart though so he doesn't know how to explain that without making her mad so he keeps quiet about that.

"…I'm not…"

He's definitely not as good as his brothers. They're the ones in line for the crown. He isn't going to be a king of anything. He doesn't want to be. He just wants to read more scrolls so he can eventually understand his brothers' meetings, try to master spearmanship so he can be of use to his brothers somehow, maybe play with the flowers on the courtyard. He wants to support his brothers and his family should they need anything from him. He doesn't really want anything beyond that.

"Eh? Why not?" Judar tilts his head at him like he's being unreasonable. His voice is too loud, though it doesn't make his ears hurt. It's still too loud though, or maybe that's just because the entire area has fallen silent, watching the two of them interact. "You can't refuse me."

The same feeling, of being covered from head to toe, returns. Hakuryuu fidgets as he brings his arms away from the other. He squeaks when Judar grabs both of his hands – his grip isn't too tight but there's just something really weird, like he ate something he isn't used to. "B-But I'm not—"

"…Judar—no, _magi_ ," his mother finally enters the space and reaches out to place a hand on top of Judar's head. "You need to show yourself to the Emperor."

Hakuryuu wilts at how he almost seems nonexistent under her gaze now. He also doesn't know why that is. He doesn't think he has done anything to upset his mother or his father. While it's true that he's not as quick with studying the scrolls, he does work hard! It's not like he falls asleep while reading them often. He's really not sure why she's treating him like this. And this Judar kid is also making him feel strange, like he's doing something _bad_ by refusing him.

"Hey, my king is refusing me!" Judar complains with a high-pitched whine and accompanying stomping on the ground. Hakuryuu gapes at the other's childishness – doesn't he know that one should be dignified and definitely not throw something like a tantrum? Also, he _can't_ just address his mother like that! That's too disrespectful and he might get punished for that! "You told me that I get to choose the king I want so why is he refusing me!"

Hakuryuu takes small steps backward, inching himself away from their visitor's tantrum. He flinches when his mother finally looks at him, ice in her gaze. He freezes in place, knees wobbling as his mind races for something to say to _stop_ this. He shouldn't have strayed away from his sister and sneaked around to watch the visitor's arrival from a closer vantage point. He shouldn't have reached out for the other. He shouldn't have—

" _Hey, don't scare him_!" Judar crosses the distance Hakuryuu has created with loud, angry steps. "And don't be scared! My king can't be scared, because I _am_ here!"

They're now too close again and Hakuryuu swallows down his protests about being scared. He isn't scared of his mother and he isn't scared of Judar. He feels uncomfortable though—which is, come to think of it, a lot like fear.

" _Magi_ ," his mother says eventually, sweetly as though there isn't a troublesome kid in the vicinity, "we're going to be late for our audience with the Emperor."

Hakuryuu has never heard his mother sound like that, like she's almost threatening. He wonders if this is really _fear_ then.

"If he isn't better than my king then I don't wanna meet him."

Hakuryuu shivers again when his mother's gaze sweeps across him, before settling on his brothers on the sidelines. They don't look too happy with what's happening. To be fair, she also doesn't look too pleased, despite the smile.

"Why don't you meet him and then decide?"

Judar lets out a deep sigh as though he's very inconvenienced by this chain of events, even if he's the actual instigator. He grabs Hakuryuu's hands, squeezes tight, before walking at a more leisurely pace back to his entourage.

While watching the other walk away like he owns the palace, Hakuryuu realizes that his face is flushed and that his heart is pounding and he's dizzy and—he coughs and hides his face with his sleeves, running towards his brothers to hide behind their legs.

"Are you okay, 'Ryuu?"

Hakuryuu shakes his head and clutches at his brothers.

He isn't okay but he thinks that it's not a completely bad thing.

•••

Despite their busy schedules, his older siblings spend a lot of time with him for the next couple of weeks.

Hakuryuu looks at them worriedly, knowing that the shadows under their eyes are signs of exhaustion. He's not sure if they're staying up later and later because he's taking some of their time or if they're off doing important business. They don't tell him anything but Hakuryuu can feel their displeasure at the visitor's antics of following him around the palace whether he's invited or not.

Hakuryuu doesn't really mind it, especially when he woke up the other day with Judar wrapped around him like a cool blanket amidst the hot summer.

It's mostly okay, since the suffocating feeling is gone and is replaced by something else, something like comfort and acceptance when he's near the other. Hakuryuu used to feel that when he's around his family, but they're all so busy now that he doesn't have time to feel that way with them.

It's mostly okay, even if Judar never calls him by his name or never _bothers_ to ask his name.

It's mostly okay, despite the tingling feeling that tickles his feet whenever Judar calls him by his preferred mode of address, 'my king'.

It's mostly okay.

"Hey, try this," Judar has a mangled portion of a peach in his hands, juices dripping down his fingers. He waves it rather impatiently in front of Hakuryuu's nose when he only frowns at it. He's not particularly fond of peaches, much less if it's already been in another person's very careless grip. "Do you hate this or something?"

"I don't hate it," Hakuryuu mumbles into his sleeve, raising both of his hands in front of his face to shield himself from further attempts to be forcibly hand-fed peaches. He's not sure how to say something like he's not that thrilled about the thought of eating something in sad pieces in Judar's hands. Judar doesn't throw a tantrum whenever he's able to successfully sneak out of the adults' supervision and into Hakuryuu's space, but Hakuryuu still doesn't like the thought of upsetting the other. "But it's too sweet."

"…that so?" Judar eats the proffered fruit before he licks his hands free of the juices. There's a moment when mischief sparks in Judar's red eyes – Hakuryuu _feels_ that something, something that tells him to run far away, but he ignores that – before Judar leans in very close from the side, bypassing his raised hands that automatically lower when he senses the other's closeness, and presses their lips together.

It only takes a few seconds.

Hakuryuu blinks and his hands fly to his lips, staring wide-eyed at Judar who looks pleased with himself.

"What did you do," Hakuryuu asks in dismay, because his stomach is now rumbling with an odd hunger. His lips feel tingly, like there's an itch that he can't quite scratch away. It's been some time since he last felt the suffocating feeling but it's now back, like he's drowning.

"You should like the same things I do because you're my king." Judar explains as though it's very obvious. Hakuryuu doesn't quite follow, but he's more invested in knowing what exactly Judar did to him for his gut to feel this way. "It was less sweet that way, right?"

Hakuryuu feels something hot take over his skin from inside out.

He hears his sister call for him from the distance, the sound of her voice making Judar's face morph into the same bored expression he had when he first arrived.

Hakuryuu thinks that it's just the summer heat.

•••

"…what are you doing?"

Hakuryuu tries and fails to sound less aghast and dumbfounded by the uneven and messy scribbles on the papers. It seems that no matter how many times Hakuryuu guides Judar to grip the quill properly, the other would still press the tip too roughly against the parchment and he would still make too-strong strokes to form the characters of… whatever he's doing. At this point, with random-looking lines spread all across the page, he's not even sure if Judar is attempting to write something or if he's actually now drawing stuff.

"…I'm writing your name!"

"Do you even know how to write _your_ name?" Hakuryuu wonders out loud, grabbing one end of the parchment and writing down his name in clean, even strokes. He shows it to Judar, who nudges his shoulder in an effort to have him write his name over again.

"The old geezers told me your name means 'white dragon'," Judar says as he watches Hakuryuu form the character for 'white'. "It kind of fits you. You're all white and pure. Strong. As expected of my king."

Hakuryuu sighs and nudges back Judar's shoulders so he can restart his writing lessons – though this isn't really such a good lesson if they're just writing Hakuryuu's name over and over. Wearily, he adds: "I'm not a king."

"You're mine," Judar corrects him with an air of confidence that has many times tricked Hakuryuu into thinking that he's the one in the wrong.

Judar's learning curve is pretty fast if it's something that he's interested about. During the first couple of weeks of him insisting in addressing Hakuryuu and only Hakuryuu with the respectful ' _my king_ ', he has earned quite a number of reprimands about behaving inappropriately. Hakuryuu knows that Judar didn't really listen closely to a word of their scolding, but he also knows that Judar dislikes any sort of repetitive nagging, so he's toning down his addressing of Hakuryuu that way when they're surrounded by a lot of people.

That doesn't mean that Judar doesn't keep on repeating that nonsense when it's just the two of them though.

The study where they're currently holed into is pretty spacious, with shelves of scrolls lining the walls, sunlight streaming in from the barred windows. Despite the spaces available for them, the two of them are huddled close together at one end of the long oak table, shoulders pressed close together. Hakuryuu's never felt this same level of comfort with anyone else, including his family. At the same time, he's also never felt this… strange with anyone else too.

Hakuryuu sighs again at Judar's stubbornness, the motion rumbling through both of their bodies.

"I think 'black dragon' will fit you better though." Judar says quietly after a few moments filled with sounds of their breathing, the chirping birds outside, the faint scratches against the parchment, his head tilted to look at him.

Hakuryuu pauses in his writings and turns slightly to return Judar's stare. "Why?"

His question catches Judar visibly off-guard, even though he's the one who brought it up. He blinks and looks lost, almost as though he just blurted it out without any indication of _why_ he thinks that 'black' fits him better than 'white'. It's as though it's an instinctive comment.

"You have black hair," he says eventually, lifting one hand to touch the bangs that didn't quite make it to the top-bun. "And you look nicer in black."

"…but you haven't seen me in black clothes." Hakuryuu doesn't own any black-colored clothes because it's reserved for cloaks used by the military. He's only ever owned white clothes—the color of nobility.

"I haven't?"

"You haven't," Hakuryuu assures his confused friend.

"You would look nicer though," Judar comments as he stares at him, assessing him.

"It would be nicer if you also know how to write your name," Hakuryuu replies, swatting both of Judar's hands away when they start tugging at his hair, dead-set on playing a game with himself of which hand can grasp more of his hair.

Judar makes a soft sound of protest, but doesn't complain otherwise.

Hakuryuu doesn't think further about Judar's comment about black suiting him better.

•••

"You're going to get scolded again," Hakuryuu's words are muffled by the thick, warm blankets that are raised up to the point that even the tip of his nose is covered. The weather is constantly dropping so he's reluctant to leave the fortress of warmth. He's also too sleepy to move much, so he doesn't wiggle away from Judar who makes himself comfortable beside him, their legs tangled together.

Judar makes an unhappy sound as he twists his head this and that to get the best position. Hakuryuu sighs and turns so he can reach out and unravel the braid of Judar's hair. It wouldn't do to sleep with the giant braid still on, it will only make his hair bad.

"I don't care about those old geezers."

"I thought you liked them because they teach you magic." Hakuryuu yawns at the end, making his voice trail off. He leaves his hands at the base of Judar's neck, shivering slightly at the difference in their body temperature. Judar always feels cool to touch, almost as though he's surrounded by a thin sheet of ice. Hakuryuu hasn't touched anyone with skin like Judar's, not that he has a lot of available points for comparison. He wonders if it's a _magi_ thing.

He doesn't really know anything about being a _magi_ aside from what he hears from Judar – and that's not a whole lot. His brothers have stormy expressions whenever he mentions that word. And Judar doesn't really know much either, because all he says is that _he_ 's a _magi_ and that's awesome and he gets to choose a king and give said king power. The specifics are never brought up. Hakuryuu doesn't mind that because he doesn't think he'll understand anyway.

But he does want to know if Judar being a _magi_ is the explanation why his ice-like skin feels comfortable still, despite Hakuryuu usually preferring to be wrapped in layers of cloth to stay warm, despite Hakuryuu usually shying away from any prolonged contact.

"Argh, they nag a lot so I don't like them anymore," Judar whines again, though Hakuryuu knows from experience that the sentiment will most likely change in the next couple of days, depending on whether there's a new magic lesson available. Hakuryuu finds Judar's magic interesting – he can lift Hakuryuu softly with a gust of wind and he can make snowflakes appear and enlarge in the middle of a sunny afternoon – but he's not interested enough to learn more about it. Hakuryuu's kind of glad that he's not forced to learn all those things – possibly the greatest perk of not being ahead in the line for the next emperor, no matter what Judar claims.

"Why don't you ever sleep at your own bed?"

Hakuryuu's only been to Judar's quarters once and it's even more lavish than his bedroom. It is as big as Brother Hakuyuu's room, with a lot of fruit on elaborate, breakable vases, with a bed that can probably fit fifty of him. Hakuryuu doesn't understand why Judar would prefer to be here in his cramped chambers, with a much smaller bed and no breakable vases in sight. The only similarity of his room with Judar's is that both of their windows are barred with steel.

"I don't like it there…" Judar burrows his head to the spot just above Hakuryuu's pulse on his neck. Hakuryuu blinks and shakes his head a little to dislodge the messy strands of Judar's black hair away from his face. "Unless! Unless you'd like to go there now?"

"…I'm already comfortable in my bed, Judar."

Judar perks up at having his name mentioned, before exhaling against Hakuryuu's collarbone. It tingles weirdly, like it isn't something that Judar should have done. Hakuryuu wants him to repeat that motion.

"…then I'll sleep here."

"Why?" Hakuryuu can't resist asking, even when his eyes are already partially closed. There's a beat of silence before Judar moves higher up, until his long lashes brush against Hakuryuu's cheeks. It's already very comfortable and sleepy that Hakuryuu doesn't open his eyes to see what kind of expression is in Judar's face. When Judar exhales again, the tingling feeling radiates from his nose.

"The _rukh_ 's all peaceful when you're with me," Judar says simply into the small space separating them, softly, gently, like a secret that will get the two of them an hour of scolding if overheard by anyone else.

 _Rukh_ – is a term that Hakuryuu has heard maybe twice or thrice, for all of his life until now, but like many things that he's not good enough for, he doesn't understand it properly.

He foregoes thinking about it further when their lips brush again, part of their nightly ritual, pressing longer and longer as time goes by.

Like the first time it has happened, it still tastes plenty sweet.

Hakuryuu closes his eyes completely and blames Judar's fascination with eating peaches at all times of the day as he resists licking his lips just before he lets himself fall deeper into slumber.

•••

There are hushed talks about a powerful storm on its way to the capital.

Hakuryuu doesn't completely understand, but he does know that it's a bad thing. Instead of the sun, all he sees are dark clouds overhead and a flock of birds screeching as they fly in thick droves from east to west. There's a strange chill in the air, which only makes him want to huddle deeper into his bed.

Both of his brothers are out to the capital's border, probably to lead the soldiers there to help out in preparations for the storm.

"Hey Hakuryuu, they say that it's gonna be strongest storm in history!" Judar sounds thrilled with that thought, as though he's excited by strong winds and strong rains. That would be fairly typical of him.

"Weren't you supposed to be out somewhere?" Hakuryuu distinctly remembers Judar rambling about being able to go to the west border to do…something. He distinctly remembers that that's supposed to be today.

Judar sounds put-out, but he flops into Hakuryuu's lap with a contented sigh still. "Hmph, the old geezers didn't want to risk it today—they say that the weather's not good for flying."

Hakuryuu wiggles a little bit, feeling ticklish at the spots where Judar's spiky hair brushes against him. He looks out at the dark sky from beyond his steel-barred windows. There are still some flocks of birds that are fleeing towards the west.

"Flying? But you can't fly."

It would be incredible though.

Hakuryuu reads about different nations and places on the scrolls that he manages to reach in the library. He knows he's not supposed to be reading those and instead focusing on his studies, but sometimes, even his brothers' red-haired aide hands him scrolls about far-off places with sparkling eyes. Come to think of it, what was that aide's name again…? It doesn't really matter, because he's not supposed to talk to a lot of people too. His brothers don't say it out loud, but they don't like him wandering off, especially when he's with Judar.

He doesn't understand why.

He doesn't want to understand why.

"I can't _yet_ ," Judar says with a huff of displeasure, fingers splayed over Hakuryuu's right knee. Judar is clingier recently, finding more and more chances to just rest against Hakuryuu's shoulders and flop his head on top of Hakuryuu's lap, just like now. Hakuryuu doesn't really mind it, because he's getting kind of used to the other's comforting presence. He rarely feels that strange suffocation whenever Judar is near now.

"Yet?" Hakuryuu eventually lets his fingers sift through Judar's unruly hair. There's something calming about the motion, almost as though he's petting the other. He has read about animals like cats and dogs in the scrolls, animals that apparently feel nice to touch. He wonders if he'll enjoy touching other creatures as much as he does now. "But humans can't fly."

He has never read anything about humans being like birds in the sky, able to flap their wings even during the sunniest day or during the stormiest night.

It would be wonderful if he can somehow do that.

Sometimes, he listens to the chambermaids talking about a merchant stall in town that sells sparkling stones and fine fabrics. Sometimes, he listens to the advisors talking about the clear waters of the river underneath the bridges and about the traders from the north delivering fur and metal. Sometimes, he listens to the rustling of wings of the birds that wander into his windowsill that silently show him the difference between those who have the capability to move beyond this palace.

Hakuryuu isn't sad that he's not able to go outside and explore. He just… would like to see the outside lands, even just once. He would love to see the whole world, see the different mountains and trees and animals and rivers and whether the sun is really the same everywhere else.

"But I'm no ordinary human," Judar says with a pout, turning around so that he's facing Hakuryuu. His bright red eyes are glowing in the dimness of his cramped room. Hakuryuu wonders if the sparkling stones that the maids were talking about can come close to how Judar's eyes look whenever they lock gazes. "I'm a _magi_!"

Hakuryuu smiles at Judar, because it's just like him to use that as an explanation. They still have no definite idea of what a _magi_ really is, but Judar seems satisfied with the thought that it separates him from everyone else. Honestly, Hakuryuu thinks that Judar is so unlike everyone, whether or not he's a _magi_.

"It doesn't make sense," Hakuryuu argues, giggling when Judar turns again and bites at his clothed thigh for his comment. There's none of that suffocating feeling anymore, but he does feel tingles every once in a while, whenever Judar does something like this. Hakuryuu pokes at Judar's left cheek, the cool skin remaining soft to his touch.

"Well, I'll do it," Judar says determinedly, slinking upwards like a slippery jelly. Hakuryuu lets him, waiting for him to settle into a more comfortable position. Judar's official robes are heavily padded, but he thankfully removes most of the layers before he makes his way to Hakuryuu's bed's perimeter. Hakuryuu is grateful for that consideration, because it makes this kind of cuddling easier. Judar settles eventually, seated on Hakuryuu's thighs while both of them look out the window and the dark sky. "And I'll show you I can _fly_."

Hakuryuu considers Judar's thin arms and compares it to his memory of the birds' wings. "Hmm. Won't your hair be all… um, messy then?"

Judar stiffens in his arms, aghast at the thought. "Ehhhh you're right. I don't wanna fly anymore."

Just like everything Judar says, there's always a possibility that he'll change out of that opinion in the next couple of days. Hakuryuu doesn't mind, because he honestly doesn't think humans are meant for flying out of their rooms anyway. He eyes the black rods of metal that line the window of his room.

"I want to see the mountains," Hakuryuu murmurs eventually, leaning backwards until his back hits the mattress, Judar's head snug against his collarbone. "And see the trees outside."

"Those are boring, Hakuryuu." Judar sighs against his exposed skin. "We should sneak out and see the markets! Maybe they sell peaches there."

It sounds like a wonderful idea that will get both of them an earful from his brothers and from his mother. He cringes. "We shouldn't sneak out."

"Eh, why n _ooo_ t?"

"We shouldn't," Hakuryuu says as firmly as possible, clutching at the fabric of Judar's robe. "Plus, you already have enough peaches here."

"What if they have better peaches outside?"

"That's impossible," Hakuryuu replies with more certainty than he feels. But he believes in his brothers who say that this is the best place in the entire world. "This is the palace."

"Ehhh," Judar makes another noise after that, but doesn't push the issue.

There's a moment when Hakuryuu thinks that he has somehow made Judar angry at him, which doesn't happen ever. He's not sure why that is. It's no secret that Judar's pretty important and everybody else in the palace treats him accordingly. Nobody ever denies him and nobody ever really scolds him whenever he acts unreasonable. But he doesn't seem annoyed whenever Hakuryuu doesn't go along with his whims automatically.

Judar is muttering to himself, in a too-low voice for Hakuryuu to understand anything completely. Judar eventually perks up though, brightens the room with a grin that looks distressingly powerful. Hakuryuu swallows and finds that his stomach is squirming despite the lack of Judar's moving around.

"That's okay!" Judar finally says, as though he's proud to have arrived at a great conclusion. "You'll be my king though so we can do it then."

Hakuryuu rolls his eyes and flicks Judar's forehead. "I'm gonna support Brother when it's his turn to be emperor. I can't be _king_." Hakuryuu leaves out the 'I told you a hundred times already'.

Judar lifts himself up by his elbows, staring at Hakuryuu with an odd expression. He looks like he's also leaving out a couple of words from what he's about to say. "…Nah. You'll be my king."

He knows that he shouldn't continue indulging Judar in these talks, but it's just one more time. It's not like anyone else pays attention to them when they're together. It's not like anyone else has to know about what they talk about.

"…I can be the king of this room then." Hakuryuu gestures with his free hand to the bed, to the windows, to the dresser. Atop the dresser, there's a basket of fruit courtesy of Judar, but he's the one who will end up eating that anyway.

Judar laughs like he's made the funniest joke. Hakuryuu pouts, because he knows he's bad at jokes.

"I won't allow it!" Judar grins and tilts his head at him. "I'm gonna make you the king of the wh _oooooo_ le world."

"Why? I don't want to!"

"I thought you wanted to see those boring mountains?" Judar is using that tone again that makes Hakuryuu doubt himself.

"I just want to _see_ them!" Hakuryuu really doesn't know if it's a _magi_ thing or if Judar is just being deliberately obtuse.

"But you can't _just_ go there and see them, you know?" Judar has that _air_ of darkness sometimes. Hakuryuu ignores it most of the time. Right now, it's so obvious and thick and Hakuryuu can't look away. "This country has s _oooo_ many enemies out there! They're gonna attack you if you step outside and try to explore, you know?"

"That's—!"

…not true, Hakuryuu wants to say.

But that explains why he's always been forbidden from stepping out of the palace. That explains why his brothers sometimes come back from their outside trips with tears on their clothes and dirt on their faces and wounds on their hands.

"Of course, I'm not gonna let them attack you just like that," Judar continues like Hakuryuu isn't having a moment of astonishing clarity. "So I'm gonna make you into a powerful king! Then once we own everything, we'll go to those boring mountains you like."

Hakuryuu wants to protest that he's really not interested in being a king. He's not even that interested about going outside—true, it would be great to _see_ all those other things, but he doesn't need them. His brothers, his sister, his mother, Judar—they're all here in the palace anyway. But Judar's gaze still doesn't allow him to look away.

"…don't call them boring."

Judar grins at him triumphantly, before collapsing back on top of him.

Hakuryuu eyes the black bars on his window and thinks that he can't quite tell Judar that there's no way any of those will happen anyway.

•••

"…What's wrong, Hakuryuu?"

Hakuryuu hiccups as he stumbles out of his room. It's a rare night when Judar isn't around to make a nest of himself inside their layers of blankets. There are tears on his face, on his neck and his back feels hot and cold at the same time. His knees are wobbling in terror. He's not sure if it's a blessing that Judar isn't around to see him like this. He's not sure if he should be happy to see his mother after so long, but she looks friendlier now, almost as though her recent, unexplainable coldness towards him is just part of his imagination.

"Mother…"

"…" Gyokuen simply looks at him, tilts her head to the side as she considers him. If she's bothered by his tears, she doesn't show it. She kneels in front of him, her right hand outstretched towards him. They haven't talked for quite some time, but he still feels a pull towards her.

Hakuryuu bites his lip as he tries to quiet his sobs, and fails. "I had a frightening nightmare… my father, my brothers… and even mother… everyone was killed by the remnants of an enemy country… only my sister and I survived."

He breathes in and out after he gets the words out. His hands tremble. He's been so used to someone just being beside him and holding his hands whenever he fidgets. He's been so spoiled. But his brothers are not around, his sister is not around, Judar is not around. It's only his mother.

His mother, who still wordlessly looks at him.

She eventually places one hand on his shoulder, while another wipes the tears off from his face.

"Hakuryuu… everything's alright." Gyokuen is smiling gently, but there's something that doesn't sit well with him. He's not sure if it's because he still remembers her smiling face from his nightmare just now, her smiling face when her head rolls down the steps— "Let me tell you a "truth", okay?"

But she's alive.

She's a bit cold to the touch, but she's alive.

"…Truth?"

"Your father did an incredible thing…he saved the people of three countries that were suffering in war…" Her smile doesn't waver as she holds him closer. Hakuryuu's not sure if he's supposed to know this. But it's his mother who's telling him this 'truth' so it should be fine, right? "…So no one would intend to kill him, your brothers, or me now. Everything is fine."

He should believe her.

He should believe his brothers who say that this is the best place in the entire world.

"…Really?"

He can't help but ask, to be sure.

"Really." Her voice is gentle, but with a hint of command. Her voice is full of faith. "Come on, let's go now, Hakuryuu."

…Eh?

His mother pulls him along and brings him towards the balcony where the emperor shows himself to his subjects. It's a place Hakuryuu has been forbidden from going to before. He catches a glimpse of the people on the other side of the palace walls. But he's too small to see everything, so he mostly just sees a roomful of the emperor's men and the back of his father.

"Long live the Kou Empire! Long live the Kou Empire! Long live the Kou Empire!"

He hears their words even though they're far away. He thinks that if he's a little bit taller, he can see the outline of the mountains in the distance.

"…You see?"

He hears the people's words and it somehow doesn't comfort him. But his mother is smiling like it should, so he wipes the remains of his tears and smiles back at her.

"Yes…!!!"

Hakuryuu rubs at his eyes so he doesn't know how his mother's face looks like when she responds with an ever-gentle: "…That's good, Hakuryuu."

•••

It isn't good at all, because Hakuryuu wakes up to a similar dream not even a week later.

This time, he doesn't make it out of his bed unlike before, because there's a heavy weight holding him down by his waist. Hakuryuu breathes heavily and tries to keep quiet, because Judar's looking more sleepless and tired recently. He doesn't want to wake him up just because of some nightmare.

Judar wakes up nevertheless, yawning so wide that it almost looks funny. "Ehhhh what's goin' on Ha'ryuu?"

"…it's nothing…" He ends up saying, biting his lip and placing his hands over his mouth so that his hiccups don't escape him. "…nothing…"

"Ughhh your _rukh_ is all disturbed," Judar sounds unhappy, though he's not sure if it's because he got woken up unceremoniously or if it's because of the so-called _rukh_. "What's wrong, Hakuryuu?"

Hakuryuu remembers his mother's smile, his father's back, and the world that he wasn't able to see from beyond his view. His fingers tremble as he grasps at the ends of the blanket damp with his sweat. His hands shake, but not too much, because Judar's hands are immediately upon him, grabbing him forcefully and tightly that it doesn't seem like he'll ever escape.

"…Hakuryuu?"

Judar should be sleeping now because he needs to be away with the veiled magicians again tomorrow. He should be on his own lavish bedroom with silken sheets and wide bed, instead of these bunched-up blankets and cramped bed.

"…I… dreamt that my brothers… father… mother… everyone was killed… only me and sister… only us two survived…"

It doesn't get easier to say those words out loud. Hakuryuu's breath stutters, but Judar only comes closer to him, keeping one hand around over his fists and another around his shoulders. Judar is cold and he smells of incense. Hakuryuu takes a deep breath of that scent, his lips brushing against the ceremonial robes that Judar usually removes before crashing braid-first to his bed. Because Judar was so tired earlier, he just simply rolled into place beside him. Judar is heavier now, weight pressing into him. Hakuryuu presses his entire face against the folds of cloth near Judar's neck.

"…Did I die too?"

"…Huh?!"

"…in your nightmare," Judar sounds curious, but also rather impatient. "Did I die there too?"

"…No…" Hakuryuu opens his eyes and looks at the dark threads on Judar's clothes. Judar isn't present in his dream, as far as he knows. But…

"Then everything's fine."

"It's not fine," Hakuryuu mumbles petulantly, his stuttering breaths synchronizing with Judar's eventually.

"It is," Judar insists, wrapping both his arms now around Hakuryuu. "Even if they all disappear, everything's gonna be okay because I'm still here."

…typical Judar.

Only he would react to the deaths of the imperial family with such casual disregard.

But that's comforting in its own way.

Hakuryuu closes his eyes as his trembling subsides.

He's not sure if it means anything that he believes Judar more readily than his mother.

"…So don't worry anymore, okay, Hakuryuu? Let's go sleep okay? I'm so sleepy…"

Hakuryuu doesn't think about what would happen then if even Judar disappears.

•••

 _Is that the angel who flew down from the twilight sky?  
_ _Is that the devil who crawled out of the crevice?_

 _We will fight against our fate  
_ _We must not give in to our fate._

**••• part 01 [end]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Notes:**
> 
>  
> 
> • Song lyrics is from "Vogel Im Käfig" (Bird in Cage) © Shingeki no Kyojin OST  
> • I usually hate including song lyrics in fics, but!!! It fits so well orz I'm going to use song lyrics to start the chapters – all of the songs are going to come from either their Magi Character Songs or the Shingeki no Kyojin OST (because the caged birds imagery, the revenge being a motivator, etc. fits LOL)  
> • In Kou Empire, "white"-clothes is for nobility (chapter 206)  
> • Hakuryuu's not very confident about himself when he was young (chapter 242)  
> • Hakuryuu has a foreshadowing (?) dream of his brothers' deaths (chapter 129)
> 
>  
> 
> **Headcanons:**
> 
>  
> 
> • Judar doesn't call Hakuryuu by a nickname even though he does that to a lot of other people, because "my king" is reserved for him.  
> • Judar hates studying and hates spelling/writing lessons (that special re: him not knowing how to write the kanji for _world_ and Hakuryuu correcting him)  
>  • Judar finds the rukh noisy (Sinbad's Adventures 38ish) but he finds them be more quiet when he's around Hakuryuu  
> • Hakuryuu is the one who inspires Judar to world domination  
> • Hakuryuu motivates Judar into doing something by telling him he can't do it / he'll leave him behind (see: his refusal to go with Judar at first LOL, Judar learning teleportation magic & clairvoyance magic, etc.)


	2. spun, allotted and unturned

••• **02 – Fate – "spun, allotted and unturned"**

 _The earth roars and turns red  
_ _The people remember that tragedy  
  
_ _Is this the destroyer or the creator?  
_ _With the blaze of hate we swing the swords  
_ _Is that our fate or our will?  
_ _We will fight until this hot wind takes our wings  
  
_ _What will we find beyond this horizon?_

•••

Emperor Hakutoku dies on a normal day.

The sun doesn't shine too brightly, but there are no huge stormy clouds as well. It's a normal day, which is all the more jarring for those who don't expect such tragedy to befall on a normal day of their lives.

Hakuryuu wants to go out there and listen to what's happening, but his brothers have asked him, quite firmly, to stay inside his room.

He complies.

He's starting to grow taller, just the littlest bit, but he still has a long way to go until his foot reaches the edge of his bed. He stays inside, a scroll about medicinal plants and their uses in making a meal healthier in his lap. He has read this scroll twice now, but it's interesting so he doesn't mind re-reading it.

It's an otherwise normal day, so he didn't get the forethought to prepare a bunch of new scrolls to read. He doesn't get the chance to sneak around in the library to grab some of the scrolls forbidden from him by everyone except for his brothers' aide (…Kouen, yes, that's his name, right?).

Hakuryuu leans against the windowsill, eyes on his scroll, so he doesn't immediately notice that Judar is inside his room until the other is practically jumping into his bed.

Hakuryuu tries to be stern and disapproving of the other's antics, but he doesn't think it works, because Judar just goes to hug him without regard for the scroll in his lap or the expression on his face.

"Hakuryuuuuu~" Judar has this habit of stringing his name out. Hakuryuu thinks he likes it, but his stomach churns around too much for that to be true. "I missed you~~~"

"You were only gone for a couple of hours." Hakuryuu doesn't like it when Judar exaggerates on these things. He's enjoying spending his time with the veiled magicians more and more recently – Hakuryuu doesn't feel sad about that. He's happy that his friend is finally able to enjoy the palace more.

"That doesn't matter!" Judar also has this habit of simply ignoring things that he doesn't deem important. "The _rukh_ in that place is bleghhh, nasty."

Hakuryuu tries adopting his brother's tone when he responds with, "Is that so?"

Judar frowns at him, but the expression forms into something curious when the other tilts his head at him. "…hey, your _rukh_ is… hmm. Is it because that guy died?"

Trust Judar to not even bother with remembering the name of the emperor—former emperor. Hakuryuu wonders if he should feel offended for the sake of his father, for the sake of his brothers who admired his father, for the sake of everyone who believed in his father.

"…"

Hakuryuu must have taken longer than usual to reply, because Judar huffs in irritation of being ignored. Judar then places both of his hands on Hakuryuu's cheeks and _pinches_ lightly, forcing them to stare at each other.

"It's no big deal," Judar says with such heavy seriousness, the _kohl_ around his eyes a mix of regal purple and crimson today, highlighting his irises, "everything's going to be fine because we're still both here."

Hakuryuu thinks that he should feel _something_ upon hearing the other just disregard someone's death like that, but he doesn't. Judar is insensitive most of the time so his attitude isn't a surprise. His words though… they're also very insensitive, but Hakuryuu feels lighter, somehow. "…thanks, Judar."

Judar blinks at his words, then grins brightly. Hakuryuu knows and expects Judar to be cold to the touch, but everything suddenly feels brighter and warmer now. "Of course! I'll be able to raise a dungeon soon so I can give you power too, so there's no need to worry."

"But I don't—"

He doesn't need power—not the kind that he just instinctively knows Judar is offering. His brothers don't have a different power so he shouldn't have one too. The word 'dungeon' makes him feel disturbed, like a ripple across the peaceful pond of his life.

Judar has that moment of silence again, a moment that Hakuryuu spends wondering if this is finally the time that he angers the other. The other's head bows down, chin against his chest, luxurious black braid flopping back down like spilled calligraphy ink. Judar murmurs to himself again, talking in soft, halting words that are still too hushed for Hakuryuu to fully hear.

And just like always, Judar lifts his head again with another brilliant grin.

"That's okay!" Judar sounds proud and accomplished, as though he's saying something logical. "You'll be my king eventually though so we can go to a dungeon then."

Hakuryuu sighs and finally places his hands over Judar's on his cheeks.

"Let's go eat a snack," he suggests, suddenly craving for something normal. Hakuryuu feels that there's something that he shouldn't thread here.

But Judar isn't finished.

"I heard those geezers talking about fate and stuff—I think it's called 'fate' that I found you early, huh? It's also 'fate' that the guy died, I think, but it doesn't matter! Oh, will you feed me peaches then? Hakuryuu…?"

He hears a buzzing in his ears at the other's words.

Hakuryuu doesn't know what is this 'fate' that Judar is talking about, but it instinctively doesn't sound like it's anything good.

•••

The Emperor's funeral is immediately held the day after his death.

Hakuryuu doesn't see Judar around, presumably because of some important Oracle business he needs to actually do every time something big happens. That's more than fine. He's starting to feel that strange suffocation again and he doesn't want to associate feeling something that nauseous to his friend. He's also happy that he's finally able to talk with his brothers again—the only thing that would make this better is if his mother looked a little livelier, if his sister stepped out of her room and if his father went back to life.

His mother makes a speech about how much she loved their father.

Hakuryuu doesn't listen, because the words are just somehow not registering in his ears. His mother's face looks stricken. He doesn't like that look at all.

His uncle makes a speech after and he also doesn't want to listen. He's never been fond of his uncle because he always looks like there's something bad that he's about to do.

Hakuryuu frowns as a set of advisors take the stage and make their own speeches. He instead moves to where his brothers are, near the exit of the hall where their father's body is held.

"Brother Yuu!" Brother Ren!" Hakuryuu calls out to them, because with their father's death, it's only a matter of time until his Brother Yuu takes the throne and his Brother Ren ascend to the General Advisor post. He's probably not going to get another chance to hang out with them. He needs to do so now, even if everybody else is looking somber.

His brothers look at him fondly. Hakuryuu grins as he remembers how the advisors all say words about how a good emperor needs good support.

"When I grow up, I'll become just like the two of you!" He plans to become someone who will be strong enough to support his brothers. "But I can't become better than both of you, so I will become like you, but not as great!"

Yes, that sounds like a fairly solid plan.

He doesn't think he'll be as great as his brothers, but he will do his best.

If Judar is listening in, he'll be so proud of him, wouldn't he?

Or maybe he wouldn't? He's never been particularly interested in his brothers, no matter how many times he told him about his brothers' greatness.

It's probably the only major thing that they disagree on.

"Our father passed away." Brother Ren has dark lines underneath his eyes. "Officially, he was assassinated by some refugees from Gai, but… shit!"

Hakuryuu blinks at some of the words his brother has used. He thinks the word 'Gai' and 'assassinate' are familiar, but he wonders if those are in the scrolls that are forbidden to him. He doesn't have a lot of time to ponder their meaning, as his Brother Yuu pats him on top of his head with trembling hands. He's not sure whether he likes that or not.

"Hakuryuu, if something ever happens to the two of us…" Hakuryuu blinks again at his brothers. They don't look too pleased. "…No, I don't want you to bear this weight alone. If only I could do something about this…"

They look sad, but he doesn't think that it has something to do with their father's death – at least not entirely.

Hakuryuu doesn't get a chance to ask them more about it though, because the advisors finally finish their speech and call upon his brothers.

Hakuryuu remains in the background, wondering why there's a clawing feeling in his gut as he watches his brothers' proud backs.

•••

Hakuryuu pinches his cheeks, curls his fingers so in a way that Judar has never done. It hurts, but the smoke that fills his lungs hurt even more. He doesn't understand what's going on—one moment he's sleeping alone in his bed, because Judar is still away on Oracle business, and the next is he's being carried roughly by Brother Ren across the halls.

…this is a nightmare, isn't it?

It's just his nightmare, isn't it?

Hakuryuu feels tears sting his eyes, in a way that it does whenever he's being overcome by emotion. This time, his sister is not around to wipe his tears with her sleeves, his mother is not around to wipe his tears with her hands, Judar is not around to wipe his tears with his mouth. He brings his own hands to rub at his eyes but that only makes everything sting more.

"I still cannot die…" Hakuryuu looks up at the sound of his brother's hoarse voice. "I cannot let them have their way…"

There are soldiers that come at them, but Brother Ren kicks them away with difficulty. Brother Yuu is waving his sword around, slicing at some of the veiled priests that surround his mother and Judar at times.

And speaking of his mother…

"Brother…" He tugs at his brother's pants' leg to get his attention once there are no more soldiers or veiled priests in the vicinity. "Are… Hakuei and mother alright…?"

He hasn't seen them since the funeral earlier today. "They couldn't have… shouldn't we go help them?"

Hakuryuu watches his brothers' faces be unmoved by his question, like they know something terrible that they're keeping a secret from him.

"… Let's go." Brother Yuu says eventually as footsteps resound.

Brother Ren grabs at Hakuryuu's arm, ignoring his question. "Yes!"

…Why…?

Why is this happening…?

Brother Yuu asks him to close his eyes and cover his ears as they run away, to safety, to where there won't be fire. He does his best, but he still sees phantom figures underneath his eyelids, still sees the fire licking up his skin, still sees his brothers' exhaustion.

He's not sure how long it takes until they finally stop, Hakuryuu tumbling out of his Brother Ren's arms.

Brother Ren is unmoving on the ground.

Hakuryuu feels tears gush out from his eyes. He rubs at them despite the stinging feeling. "Waaa so hot, so hot!"

Brother Yuu looks different, haunted, hunted. Hakuryuu doesn't want to look at him anymore. The fire is getting hotter. He knows he likes warm things, but he'd rather trade everything so he can have something as cold as Judar instead of this.

"This is the end for me and Hakuren…" Brother Yuu is saying more things that don't make sense. He doesn't want it to make sense. "…But you, Hakuryuu, you will live and accomplish our mission."

"Eh…?"

Brother Yuu's face is mostly dark, the smell of fire and the smell of something else making Hakuryuu's head spin. "Swear to fight till the end! You have to strike down our country's worst enemy!"

"W-W-Worst enemy? What are you talking about, brother?" Hakuryuu suddenly remembers about Judar's words as to the reason why he can't just go out of the country easily. He also suddenly remembers his mother's words about his father being successful in uniting everyone, so they're safe. They should be safe. Why aren't they safe? "A-A-And why do even the soldiers of our own country want to kill us? Who would do such a cruel thing?!"

He can't see his brother's face clearly anymore, smoke and tears in his eyes.

"The one who has stolen the Kou Empire and the one who wants to kill you is…"

Brother Yuu leans in to whisper the name of the culprit behind all of this cruelty.

Hakuryuu gasps, because he knows that there's no way he misheard.

"T-T-That's impossible, brother… that person…it cannot be!"

His brother smiles at him, for quite possibly the last time, as he fumbles for his sword and slashes across his stomach. Hakuryuu feels ill at the sight of all that blackened blood, blood that is being wiped all over his face. He used to like receiving baths from his brothers, but this, this—

Hakuryuu will remember this moment for the rest of his wretched life.

•••

Judar arrives like a whirlwind, a week after Hakuryuu wakes up to his small world where everything has changed.

Hakuryuu's not sure whether he resents the other for disappearing on him, but no, he resents the other more for being associated with that witch. He resents everything black now. He glares at Judar when the other waves at him from ten feet away.

Nobody bothers with him anymore because he's just the adopted son, a useless prince, a fallen heir. All of the advisors avoid him, all of the servants gossip about him. His brothers' aide is now acting like he's always been the heir to the throne. Everyone is dancing along to that witch's manipulation and looking at Judar's face now just brings him a seething hatred in his stomach. Judar will probably ignore him or taunt him, now that he doesn't even have a proper rank already. The other's so obsessed with 'king' this, 'king' that, that he'll definitely ignore him now that he's not that anymore—

"Hey, Hakuryuu~~~! I missed you!"

…Eh?

Judar waves at him carelessly, just like before, behaves himself because they're outside by simply draping an arm across his shoulders, just like before, smiles at him like he's something special, just like before.

But Hakuryuu can't return to the past anymore.

He can't return to the days when he enjoyed Judar's company without any other thought to the other's affiliation. He can't return to his obliviousness about the other's darkness. He can't return to the past anymore, no matter how much he wished for it.

"…Lord Priest."

Hakuryuu winces as he rolls his shoulders so he can dislodge Judar's cool arm. He takes two steps away from Judar and carefully fixes his gaze somewhere on top of Judar's head. He doesn't want to meet the other's eyes.

"…Why are you being so formal and stuff, Hakuryuu?" Judar sounds genuinely confused, as though he doesn't know what kind of terrible things had happened during the time he was away, doing some mission of some sort for the witch's organization. Or maybe he truly doesn't know. Or maybe he truly doesn't care. He seems happy enough to just be a pawn for that woman, as long as he gets to eat his crate of peaches and as long as he gets to study magic and as long as he gets to witness entertaining sights.

Hakuryuu resolutely doesn't let his eyes wander to Judar's expression.

"…hey, did something happen?"

"…"

Does he really not know?

Does he really not care at all?

"…Hakuryuu?"

"…it's nothing."

"Oh, you should have said so from the start!" Judar grins at him and moves to stand closer to him again. Hakuryuu side-steps him, making sure to fix his expression into something that looks sterner.

"…It isn't nothing, is it, Hakuryuu?" Judar says eventually, blinking at him in displeasure.

Hakuryuu immediately lifts his eyes so that he doesn't look at Judar's face again.

It hurts, somehow.

But the thought of losing his family, his childhood, his entire world to that woman hurts even more.

"Your _rukh_ is all weird now." Judar sounds as though he's not sure whether to be happy for that. Hakuryuu doesn't care about him anymore. "…but that's okay! You're still my number one k—"

"Stop it, Lord Priest." Hakuryuu cuts the other's words off. He doesn't know what he'll do if he hears Judar call someone like him a 'king'. Someone like him who was entrusted by his brothers to continue their fight and take the country back, someone like him who was suddenly plunged into a position where he couldn't do anything, someone like him who will never be as bright as his brothers, someone like him who could only seethe in hatred at that woman.

With quick, deliberate steps, he hurries away from the other and ducks behind the pillars. He makes his way back to his newer, even more cramped bedroom that he remembers to be a storage room.

Hakuryuu hears Judar call for him, but he doesn't look back.

•••

"—I knew it!" A voice that he unfortunately knows so well interrupts his light sleep. "I _knew_ something happened, Hakuryuu!"

Hakuryuu sighs deeply at the triumph in the other's voice, as though figuring it out is something that requires a lot of thinking. He wonders how many servants Judar eavesdropped on before he managed to understand the tragedy that happened three months ago. He wonders if the servants still talk about him now. He wonders if anyone still remembers him and his sister now.

"…shut up, Judar." Hakuryuu turns in his bed, his eyes heavy with fatigue, before he freezes in realization.

"Oh, you finally called me by my name again! Do it again, Hakuryuu!"

"Shut up, Lord Priest," he amends, but he knows it's futile, because he can feel Judar's hands tug excitedly, but gently, at his arms.

"Come ooooon, I wanna show you something!"

Hakuryuu wrenches his eyes open and glares at the other. "…will you leave me alone after I go with you?"

From the bedside, Judar looks at him, as though he's considering things. He doesn't reply to his question, which speaks volumes of his plans to continue pestering him after this. Hakuryuu can't help but meet the other's eyes, fondness welling up within him against his will.

He shouldn't be feeling _anything_ at this point, anything aside from dislike and distrust, but it's hard not to feel gratefulness for how the other still strives to make things seem normal.

Judar is that woman's pawn, but maybe, just maybe, it's okay to indulge this type of whim every once in a while.

"Come _oooon_ ," Judar whines in what he must assume to be an effective manner.

Hakuryuu sighs again, but allows himself to be pulled out of his bed and cocoon of blankets. He's beyond puzzled when Judar tugs at him towards the small window of his new room – thankfully without the black steel bars from his previous room.

Judar twirls something in his hands, a small staff with a pointed ruby at the end, and points at the roll of… something at the foot of Hakuryuu's bed. Within seconds, the roll unfurls to a floating carpet, elevated a few inches off Hakuryuu's mattress.

Against his will, Hakuryuu's mind remembers the times when Judar would tell him about being able to _fly_.

"I'm gonna show you something cool!"

Hakuryuu's always been wary of Judar's exclamations of coolness, but he can't help but want to take the other's hand now.

It's just this one time.

Tomorrow, he'll be back to resolving to hate everyone and everything linked to that woman. It's just tonight. It's just this one time, because it's been too long since he last saw Judar. He can't even remember their last conversation. He'll make this their last, so he can resume his revenge properly.

Hakuryuu bites his lip as he steps onto the carpet that feels surprisingly sturdy. His body still hurts everywhere, but he shuffles closer to Judar still, holding onto to the other's arm as the flying carpet inches out of the window. He's not sure if this ride is supposed to be steady, but as they fly higher, the carpet trembles and falters, as though it's also unsure of what's happening. Hakuryuu grips Judar's arm tighter, because he has this weird sensation of falling face-first to the palace grounds… that start to look farther and farther away.

He wants his next words to Judar to be the last, but he can't decide on what it's going to be. He wants to ask him a lot of things, but—

"I saw someone really powerful during my trip!" Judar breaks the silence just as they fly overhead of the main palace tower. There are scatterings of light underneath them, but nobody notices the two of them sneaking out in the cloak of the nighttime. "He's kind of stupid and he doesn't want to team up with me, but he's very strong. He's gonna be a _strong_ king and I want him to work for me!"

Hakuryuu… doesn't know what to feel.

He knows that things can't remain the same as before.

He never wants to be the _king_ that Judar's been spouting about.

…but there's something irksome about hearing Judar consider someone else.

Judar's saying something more, but there's only that strange buzzing in his ears, like he's rejecting the other's words on instinct. They're flying and it should be wonderful and he should feel happy, but they're flying thanks to a tool of the organization, his family is cracked into brittle pieces and he's here with a member of the organization that caused that.

"—show you this!" Judar gestures wildly to the grounds beneath them. Hakuryuu doesn't see anything because of the night. It doesn't deter Judar at all. "You might think that you lost _everything_ , but you didn't! You have me and everything here and beyond—you can have _everythiiiiing_ instead!"

Hakuryuu looks at the lights of the homes of the citizens of Kou Empire, looks at the distance where there are mountains and oceans and rivers that he has only read about. He feels tears in his eyes, because he wants to see those things, but he can't—not when Judar is part of them. Not when he's going to take revenge on that organization that includes this person who's sweetly offering him everything that he cannot see.

There's only darkness ahead of him, around him.

He vaguely remembers Judar having said something about it being fate that they met.

But he knows better.

There's no other thing that can explain it.

There's no such thing as fated meetings.

There's only that woman and that woman's plans.

•••

 _The earth roars and turns red  
_ _The people remember that tragedy_

**••• part 02 [end]**  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Notes:**
> 
> • Title is from the "Moirai" or the three "Fates" in Greek mythology. Basically a person's fate begins when the thread of life is _spun_ , then the length of life is _allotted_ and finally ends when death comes _unturned_.  
>  • Song lyrics is from **ə** **t** **ˈ** **æ** **k 0N t** **ά** **ɪ** **tn** (Attack on Titan) © Shingeki no Kyojin OST  
>  • Hakuryuu's not very confident about himself when he was young (chapter 242)  
> • Hakuei is nowhere to be found during the Great Fire (chapter 129)  
> • Hakuryuu is grateful for Judar's friendship, especially since his treatment of him doesn't change even after the Fire, when everyone else shunned him (special omake)  
> • Judar only finished learning gravity magic during the first Balbadd Arc and used his magic carpet prior to that
> 
>  **Headcanons** :
> 
> • Judar meets Sinbad during the months of Hakuryuu's coma after the Great Fire  
> • Judar helps cheer Hakuryuu up after the fire  
> • Judar likes walking through air/flying so he can show stuff to Hakuryuu


	3. chessboard of pawns: (zugzwang)

••• **03 – Depravity – "chessboard of pawns: (zugzwang)"**

 _You break down my wall suddenly with dirty hands_  
 _On that day it was an ardently crimson sunset_  
 _I hid the bricks from you_  
 _Sad memory of my childhood_  
  
 _You break down my wall unsuspectingly with dirty hands_  
 _I put nothing into the box of bricks_  
 _I do not want to lose anything_  
 _I hid the toy blocks from you  
_ _I am once again carefully building with bricks_

•••

> Morning finds Hakuryuu wrapped in a mess of blankets, Judar's hair and Judar's arms.
> 
> Hakuryuu always looks down at the _oracle_ , at the _lord priest_ , at the _magi_ , at the _grand pawn_ , and feels a twinge of something that he resolutely does not name. He resolves to wake up earlier the following morning. He stays in bed, wrapped in things that are both warm and cold, thinks about the long-gone past and the empty present, and resolves to find the strength to attain his goal. Before the sun's rays enter his room from his windows, Hakuryuu is already out of bed, definitely not missing the warmth of his room.
> 
> He swings his spear with the resolution of someone carrying a dying wish.
> 
> He doesn't acknowledge Judar when they pass by each other nor does he address the other by his name.
> 
> He is fine that way.

•••

Evening finds Judar hurtling towards Hakuryuu's bed like there's a time limit before Hakuryuu realizes it's him and will shut the door to his face.

Hakuryuu always looks at him with eyes that are so very conflicted, but the _rukh_ surrounding him is anything but. He enjoys seeing that kind of contradiction, especially when it switches around to having those eyes appear steady when chaos rules his _rukh_. It doesn't happen often, though. Judar doesn't quite understand why Hakuryuu continues to refuse his help to raise a dungeon for him. He doesn't bring it up often though, because Hakuryuu still flinches whenever that happens. He doesn't quite understand, but he also doesn't want to see the other react as though he's hurting him.

So he slides into Hakuryuu's bed with the ease of someone who's done the same thing for millions of times, hopes that tomorrow morning Hakuryuu will wake up and look at him with the same smile as before.

He wraps his arms tentatively around Hakuryuu's waist, presses kisses that inch higher and higher every single night, and breathes in the darkness that surrounds Hakuryuu so prettily.

It's not what he really wants but he's fine this way.

•••

> Noontime finds Hakuryuu in the newly-built library that still somehow smells of aged books and ancient scrolls.
> 
> It's only Kouen and Koumei who goes here, because the country's advisors and tacticians have been replaced by the veiled magicians who don't really care for expanding their knowledge or for really ruling the country properly. Even Kouen just reads about history because he wants to use the same banner that the previous emperor and his brothers used to unite everyone under their rule. Everything's just a farce for them.
> 
> Hakuryuu strives to make himself appear only interested in studying and spearmanship, but not to its applications. That witch seems to think that he's content with simply hating her on the background, so he'll do his best to slowly but surely gain power so he can one day fulfill his duty.
> 
> In the meantime, he grabs at the history books that his hands can reach and hides them on some corners so that Kouen and Koumei will have a hard time finding them. He looks for information about the lands outside of Kou, focuses on places that have been bulldozed over by the empire's greedy expansion over the recent years. He also searches for information on places that are neutral about most things, because he still remembers _those words_ about enemies that will surely kill him if they know that he's from Kou, never mind the fact that he hates its current leaders that got this far by tainting their hands.
> 
> (If his hands stray to grab a couple of magic books about ice and thunder and flight, well, it's just because he shouldn't be too obvious in his interests and he needs a diversion to make them think that he's also interested in other things aside from other territories that have the potential of helping him out in his goals. It's only that and not because he still indulges Judar every single night despite turning him away every single day.)
> 
> Hakuryuu flips open one of the magic books and sees a familiar doodle of rough lines and unintelligible words. He doesn't really care and he's not really surprised that Judar still is pretty bad when it comes to writing things _right_. Still, he absentmindedly crosses out some words and writes down the correct versions of 'world conquest', 'world domination' and 'black sun' on the margins of the books.
> 
> (If his eyes stray to see his name doodled on the pages as well with perfect strokes and perfect spelling, he resolves that he doesn't feel a thing.)

•••

Evening finds Judar in the empty long dining table that has unofficially been reserved for the two fallen children from the previous emperor.

It's only Hakuryuu and Hakuei who goes here, because the servants don't really like being associated with the disgraced heirs to the throne any more than the two wants to be linked to any remnants of their previous life. Even Hakuei only goes here whenever she is not invited to eat with Kouen whenever the other is in the palace instead of going out there and conquering more lands. It's only Hakuryuu really, who is very familiar and ingrained with this place, a small kitchen and a dining table fit for more people that can possibly exist at this point in their lives.

Judar doesn't really like anything that's not peaches or anything sweet, but he does make it a point to join Hakuryuu whenever Hakuei isn't around to be all sad and mopey. He doesn't really mind Hakuei because after the fire, there's something about her that speaks volumes of how fragile her mind is deep inside, in contrast to her regal motions and goody-goody princess-type behavior. But he doesn't like it when Hakuei and Hakuryuu are in close vicinity, because their _rukh_ turns all subdued in a very boring and unhappy way.

While waiting for Hakuryuu to finish cooking his usual spread of food that is certainly too much for just the two of them, Judar slumps over the table and watches Hakuryuu's back. He knows that Hakuryuu knows that he hates eating vegetables, but he'll try to chop them into tiny pieces so that they're less obvious. He knows that Hakuryuu knows that he doesn't really eat much aside from peaches and desserts whenever he's sent to go anywhere else, so he'll try to make him eat healthy when he's in this castle.

(If Hakuryuu enjoys being _forced_ to spoon-feed him the vegetables, he surely doesn't show it, because he's all about being a prim and proper prince now. Judar takes what he can get though, because it's interesting to see Hakuryuu try his best to force his blush down whenever their hands brush and whenever Judar licks the edge of the chopsticks and slowly travel upwards to lick at the other's fingers. Hakuryuu's cooking is phenomenally wonderful, but it's even tastier when he eats directly from the other's skin.)

Hakuryuu always shoves him away before he can get carried away though, but he also always gives in eventually when he whines about vegetables tasting too nasty to be eaten on their own.

Judar takes what he can get, because the old geezers and the old hag are saying something about giving him more power by forcing him to _fall_. He doesn't completely understand it, but it doesn't sound like something that Hakuryuu will tolerate from him.

(If Hakuryuu looks at him with a mix of _I want to stay this way_ and _I want you to stay away_ , Judar resolutely thinks that he shouldn't be disheartened.)

•••

> Afternoon finds Hakuryuu staring back at his sister in shock.
> 
> "…Sister… what did you just say…?"
> 
> He's unable to do much for his sister who's wincing as Seishun helps with disinfecting her cuts and wounds. He's unable to do much else but gape in horror at her for succumbing to the organization's pull and going inside a dungeon upon Judar's invitation.
> 
> (If he thinks about Judar's words about how he's going to make sure that he's going to give him power… no, Hakuryuu doesn't think about that at all.)
> 
> Shouldn't she know better?
> 
> Shouldn't she know that the timing for everything falling into ruin all points to that witch beckoning for the organization to come and corrupt their country?
> 
> Shouldn't she know that they were only going to lull her to a false sense of security by granting her power, a territory, an army, a _purpose_ to fight for this rotten country?
> 
> Shouldn't she know that they would only use her until she ends up exhausting everything in her power?
> 
> Shouldn't she _know_?
> 
> She should have noticed that their mother had abandoned them for power.
> 
> She should have noticed that the organization probably wanted her to perish in that dungeon – especially since they only let her and Seishun enter, without any support from the soldiers or from Judar, even.
> 
> She should have noticed that this changes _nothing_.
> 
> Shouldn't she?
> 
> "I'm going to help Kouen-dono—"
> 
> …Hakuryuu doesn't hear the rest of the words his sister says. It's like his very being rejects everything else, so he only sees her mouth move to presumably form words-phrases-sentences and he doesn't understand.
> 
> He doesn't _need_ to hear the rest of his sister's words.
> 
> (If he thinks about his sister's words about how she's going to help Kouen… no, Hakuryuu doesn't think about that at all.)

•••

Evening finds Judar staring at the sliver of opening in Hakuryuu's bedroom door, blocked by Hakuryuu himself.

"…hey, Hakuryuu… we should go to sleep!"

He knows that there's something wrong with Hakuryuu – he just isn't sure if it's because he's unhappy with his sister being hurt while conquering Paimon… though he wants to protest that it's not his fault that she's not good enough to not escape from a wound or two, she can think of it as _battle scars_ and be proud and stuff. Or maybe it's because Hakuryuu can _sense_ the change in him somehow? The old geezers have been imbuing him with strange, powerful magic since a long time ago, but there's something that feels _permanent_ now. He knows that Hakuryuu is unhappy – he doesn't even have to look at his _rukh_ 's disturbance to know.

He knows but he doesn't know what to do.

"…please go away, Lord Priest."

He shouldn't be saying that now, should he?

True, Hakuryuu's always been cold to him recently, but that's only in the mornings! He's always been nicer and more pliant to him when the sun disappears from the sky. He should be calling him by his name now, because it's only the two of them and nobody ever goes by this wing of the castle.

He shouldn't be like this to him, should he?

"…why, Hakuryuu? I thought—"

He… doesn't know what he thought.

He thinks he knows but it's somehow lost.

He's not sure of anything anymore.

Hakuryuu doesn't look too impressed with his loss.

"I don't associate with pawns of that witch," Hakuryuu says with an air of finality, and shuts the door on his face.

He looks down at his hands and sees the massive _black rukh_ whirling around him.

He doesn't understand.

They told him that Hakuryuu would be happy if his sister's rank is elevated, would be happier to take his hand to a dungeon if his sister also did so, would be happiest—the _rukh_ around him are buzzing with noise and—

Judar doesn't understand.

•••

_You break down my wall unsuspectingly with dirty hands_   
_I put nothing into the box of bricks_   
_I do not want to lose anything_   
_I hid the toy blocks from you_   
_I am once again carefully building with bricks_

**••• part 03 [end]**   
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Notes:**
> 
> • Title is a chess move that means: "When a player is put at a disadvantage by having to make a move; where any legal move weakens the position."  
> • Song lyrics is from Bauklötze (Building Blocks) © Shingeki no Kyojin OST
> 
>  **Headcanons** : 
> 
> • Hakuryuu is a tsundere for Judar  
>  • Hakuryuu acts all dismissive of Judar when it's daylight (when he can see Judar and be reminded of the organization) but is more tolerant of him at night when it's only the two of them  
>  • Judar only eats vegetables when it's cooked by Hakuryuu  
>  • Judar offers Paimon to Hakuei more of as a way to get himself into Hakuryuu's good graces  
>  • Judar doesn't like to go accompany dungeon capturers (he's not shown during Paimon & Leraje)  
>  • Judar is forced to fall into depravity by Al Thamen when he's trying to question things  
>  • Judar's chosen king candidates are more because he senses darkness in them that resonates with his


	4. nodus tollens

••• **04 – Loneliness – "nodus tollens"**

 _If you should ever curse your "fate"  
_ _and wish to go against it, I'll take your hands  
_ _  
Should your body contain a great divine blessing and you're frozen, trembling with hatred.  
_ _Hey surrender yourself and show your wish  
_ _Won't. You. Play. With. Me?_

 _I'll grant you with unimaginable power  
_ _I'm the black sun embracing the darkness  
_ _I'll guide your path  
_ _I'm the fallen Magi; The wizard of creation  
_ _I'll take you there... Let's go to the "dungeon"_

•••

Judar likes to take naps.

He likes to take naps on places high enough that he can see the entire palace from his view, not only because he likes to gaze down on stuff that belong to him, but also because he doesn't like to hear about the nagging of the old geezers that call for him every damn second, can't they see that he's tired of them urgh. If he's high enough, Kouha and Kougyoku also won't pester him to listen to them talk—while he is excited by the thought of fighting, Kouha's more focused on the blood and yucky internal organs that are so gross. The old hag… usually just mutters about beauty secrets that annoy him, because why won't she listen to him that she should just give up? There's no hope for her old hag face anymore.

…anyway.

He also likes to be high enough that he can easily spot where Hakuryuu is busying himself.

Hakuryuu likes acting all cold and polite whenever they meet now, but Judar can see the _rukh_ around him being calmer when he's around. Judar doesn't say that to Hakuryuu though—he doesn't want another week of cold shoulder from the other.

So yes. Judar likes to lie against the tree trunk of the tallest peach tree in the palace, which is coincidentally, just a few meters away from Hakuryuu's favored training grounds.

He falls asleep to the sounds of Hakuryuu's grunts at each swing of the spear.

He wakes up to Hakuryuu's displeasure, evident at the high-speed rock that's thrown towards him. He's pretty much mastered his _borg_ at this point though, so the tiny rock means nothing to him. He opens one eye lazily and grins at Hakuryuu's expression – a mixture of embarrassment at being watched upon during training and annoyance for the very same reason.

Judar thinks he's okay with this—true, Hakuryuu's a lot more prickly and he doesn't always allow him to share his bed now—but there's something deep within him that says otherwise.

And like all the things that are too bothersome to think about, he ignores it resolutely with the thought that he shouldn't really care about anything else.

•••

Judar likes to talk about dungeons.

He likes to hear the excitement in his own voice. He likes to talk about _djinns_ and _power_ and he hopes that eventually Hakuryuu will understand.

He thinks Hakuryuu is upset with him for being so excited about war and about working for Al Thamen, but he shouldn't. He loves the strife that they bring, the chaos that he can contribute to the world, the power that courses through his body whenever he does something for them. He loves all that, but that's only because Hakuryuu is being stubborn. He's always told Hakuryuu that he'd prefer working with him over to anyone.

Hakuryuu should understand eventually.

The two of them are separate from the organization – nothing they do should apply to them. Judar works closely with them but if he's asked to choose… it's not even a choice.

The power that he'll raise for him is separate from the organization – he's going to raise a dungeon for him, conquer a dungeon with him, and it's because he's his king.

Hakuryuu will be so strong, he'll exceed all the other king vessels. The stupid king might have overwhelming _magoi_ and charisma, Kouen might have the desire for _war_ , Koumei might have the brains for _war_ , Kouha might have the penchant for _blood_ , Hakuei might have the soul for _conquest_ , the old hag might have the wish for _strength_ —but Hakuryuu is _different_. He has all of those in varying measures, even if nobody else knows it yet.

True, it hurts a little bit that Hakuryuu always rejects him when he expresses his desire to conquer a dungeon together – what kind of a _magi_ has a king vessel who won't even join him in clearing the dungeon, after all – but it's fine.

He doesn't want to dwell on it too much.

He's sure it will be fine in the end.

•••

Judar likes Hakuryuu's face.

He likes to just stare at it from all angles, from all times of the day, from all circumstances.

There are a lot of things that he forgets about recently, but he can still clearly remember Hakuryuu's teary-eyed face when they first met. He still remembers the look on Hakuryuu's face when he first kissed him. He still remembers his face when he first—

…there are a lot of times when he experiences headaches, especially recently, but that's fine.

He feels much better whenever he catches a glimpse of Hakuryuu's face again.

Like now.

"Hakuryuu~!" He calls out, unable to resist himself, knowing that there's a huge chance that Hakuryuu will jab him with his pointy elbows, should he come closer. He likes being near Hakuryuu, so he doesn't let that possibility deter him from draping an arm across Hakuryuu's shoulders, ignoring the way those shoulders stiffen as Hakuryuu looks subtly ahead for signs of anybody else in the vicinity. He almost tells Hakuryuu that he has already scouted the area before dashing over to him, but seeing Hakuryuu look around like that is nice too. "I missed you~!"

"Shut up, Judar."

Lately, Hakuryuu's been slipping up more and more during the day.

Before, he used to be so adamant in calling him as nothing but 'Lord Priest' whenever the sun is still up in the sky. Now, as long as nobody else is around, he gets to be called by his name.

It somehow feels… he's not sure how to describe it.

"Come on, don't be so cold!" Judar musses Hakuryuu's hair, disregarding the hair pin atop his head. He thinks Hakuryuu looks much nicer with his hair down, after all. Hmm… he remembers hearing something from the stupid king and from the old hag about people liking compliments. He thinks he would like to hear Hakuryuu comment on his hard work on his muscles. Maybe Hakuryuu would also like to hear comments on his looks? It's worth a try! "Oh… hey, you look very good today."

Hakuryuu freezes, before looking at him suspiciously.

…that's not what he's expecting.

He's going to make the old hag pay for that stupid advice – never mind that she didn't really _tell_ him anything in the first place, because he only overheard her noisiness when he was trying to nap the other day.

"…What do you want?"

"Huh? I was just saying that you look good! I think it's because your hair is getting longer…?"

"…just… shut up."

Judar tilts his head, following Hakuryuu when the other turns around to hide his face. He only catches a glimpse of pink before a hand is shoved to his face, almost slapping him, but only reaching his _borg._ "Why, don't you like it?"

"Would you say something like that to Kouen or Koumei?"

Huh?

That's such a weird question.

"…No?" Judar blinks when Hakuryuu doesn't look impressed by his answer. Should he think more about it? Well, all of his chosen king vessels have that same look in their eyes sometimes, and the same charismatic aura… "…Maybe?"

Hakuryuu makes a sound that seems the littlest bit distressed. Judar hops around to catch another glimpse of the face he likes, but Hakuryuu's gotten faster with all of his training recently.

"…just go away, Judar."

  
Hm.

Hakuryuu says his name, but for some reason, it doesn't feel as nice.

And he doesn't know why.

•••

Judar likes Hakuryuu's cooking.

He likes how a simple flick of his wrist is able to transform a bland-looking dish into something extraordinary. He likes how he can make anything look as though it was worked on by ten of the imperial family's private chefs. He likes how he cooks sweeter things for him if he asked really nicely.

He's not sure whether Hakuryuu's forte in cooking is born from his desire to escape his sister's nightmarish 'cooking', but no matter where that skill came from, it's still wonderful.

Judar enjoys dropping by the window near the kitchenette, and plucking a thing or two from the table where the rest of Hakuryuu's creations are. Most of Hakuryuu's meals are filled with meat and vegetables, but if he knows that Judar's back from his trips, there's always a little something extra – a sweetened dumpling, cured peaches, flavored crushed ice.

He's still trying and testing the words that will make Hakuryuu retreat the least.

"…hm, you shouldn't make more of this," Judar points to his favorite on the offerings table. "It's gonna make me fat."

Hakuryuu takes a look at where he's pointing, before adding more of the cured peaches on the plate.

There's a small smile on Hakuryuu's face that's different from his usual blank smiles.

Judar doesn't even have to look at his own _rukh_ to know that he's feeling like he's accomplished something.

•••

Judar likes Hakuryuu's determination.

He likes how stubborn the other is, despite knowing that he won't get far if he just focuses on his studies and his spearmanship, despite knowing that he'll eventually succumb to going into a dungeon with him, so he can get the power to attain his goals. He likes how the other thinks – thinks that he can just as easily brush him off during the day, when he allows him to cling as much as he wants as long as they're both under the cloak of his blankets.

The old geezers like to bug him about learning more and more magic, even when he's already powerful enough. It's not like there's anyone here who can defy him. Even if Kouen has three djinns and even if that pig is the emperor, they're still _weaker_ than him in the end. They need his strength and should he not want to give it to them, they shouldn't be able to do anything. The old geezers also like complaining about his blatant interest in Hakuryuu, because they find the other to be useless and powerless and Judar disagrees with them but he doesn't want to waste time with pointless arguments.

He's right and that's all there is to it.

He dashes away from Ithnan when the other scolds him about escaping from his duties to show himself to the pig emperor. He doesn't like that geezer – he's too obviously evil and vulgar and there's nothing good about him at all. All of his king vessels are much better than him, but Hakuryuu is the _best_ , even if he doesn't have a metal vessel yet. Right now, it's Kouen who's the strongest amongst his vessels, but Hakuryuu will soon be on top of his list.

He can feel it.

"Hey, Hakuryuu!"

He likes the feeling that runs from his head to toe when he waves at Hakuryuu and the other just sighs and looks at him like he's being a pain.

He doesn't examine that feeling too closely, but he thinks that he shouldn't need to.

•••

Judar likes Hakuryuu.

He likes how the other protests about him and his affiliation with Al Thamen, but still indulges him if he whines long and hard enough about wanting to drink together.

Though… Hakuryuu's kind of cute and kind of annoying like that, crying all over the place.

Judar invited him with the thoughts of hoping to convince him to conquer a dungeon with him – it doesn't matter if Hakuryuu's drunk while he meets a _djinn_ , Judar's there anyway and he can handle everything for him – but he didn't think that the other would be so weak to alcohol. It's kind of endearing and kind of annoying, because what will happen now to his plan? He's not particularly up for taking care of someone else and he's not looking forward to helping the other clean up if he throws up.

Lost in his thoughts, Judar manages to bite down a shriek when Hakuryuu suddenly grabs him by his shoulders, his _borg_ not able to rise in time.

"Ha—"

"You know! I'm actually grateful towards you!"

Well, maybe it's good to hear Hakuryuu out? "…Huh?"

"You still treated me the same way even after the fire… only you… ughhhh… so don't force me to go to a dungeon with you… let's just… be the same… even without that… ugh…"

Judar feels something squeeze in his chest.

"H-H-Hakuryuu!" He glomps the other, pinching the other's cheeks in an effort to keep him grounded. He has a feeling that something like this has happened before, but it couldn't have, because there's no way he'll forget such words, even if they're from a drunken Hakuryuu. "Hey, say that again—"

But then he pushes forward too much and the two of them falls into a heap at the ground, knocking their heads to the floor of Hakuryuu's bedroom.

Judar's head spins but he knows that he will not forget about—

•••

Judar likes ------

. . w . h.a.t is .g.o.i.ng on?

The.rearevoicesinhishead - - -

imaGes

soUnds-s-s-s

w-h-a-t.is.t.t.t.t.his-s-s-s sight.

[ the crown of thorns ]

c-c-c-chanting

[ the veiled magicians ]

d-d-d-depravity

h=h=h=hhe's going ba-a-a-ack to t-t-the p.palaCE

w-w-wha,a,a,at is t-t-this ch-h-hibi do-ing to hiM?

فساد فساد فساد فساد

ش ش ش ش

مصير مصير مصير مصير

ضوء ضوء ضوء ضوء

hE is اليهود

نجمةمثمنة

\-----

عزلة

•••

He looks at the world now with a new, black, light.

He finally understands the hole in his memories, in his chest, in his feelings.

He now knows how to describe that feeling whenever Hakuryuu looks at him like that.

It's loneliness, after all.

•••

_Did I see a dream? Did I just cry?_   
_Are these m.e.m.o.r.i.e.s? Is this s.a.d.n.e.s.s?_   
_N_ _one of that matters!!! I am...!!!!!!!!!_

**••• part 04 [end]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Notes:**  
>   
>  • Title is from the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, which means "the realization that the plot of your life doesn’t make sense to you anymore—that although you thought you were following the arc of the story, you keep finding yourself immersed in passages you don’t understand, that don’t even seem to belong in the same genre—which requires you to go back and reread the chapters you had originally skimmed to get to the good parts, only to learn that all along you were supposed to choose your own adventure."  
>  • Song lyrics is from Kuroi Taiyou (Black Sun) © Judar's character song  
> • Hakuryuu knows how to handle Judar (e.g. that Judar usually says the opposite when he's teasing) (magi vol 20 omake)  
>  • Hakuryuu and Judar go drinking upon Judar's invitation, but after confessions (LOL) and realizations are made, they… end up drinking too much and forgetting about their talk. (omake)  
>   
>  **Headcanons** :  
>  • Judar's character song is totally dedicated to Hakuryuu  
>  • Hakuryuu will be so suspicious of any compliments from Judar


	5. singularity

••• **05 – The Same Thing – "singularity"**

 _No one remembers the names of the trampled flowers_  
 _Fallen birds await the next wind before they try again_  
 _Prayers won't save us  
_ _Only the will to fight can change our world_

•••

Everything makes perfect sense now.

Judar would never have thought that he'll ever reach this point of enlightenment in his entire life. Maybe he should thank that fucking runt for that _golden_ opportunity, huh.

Once he sees _them,_ oh, how he holds himself back from trying just lash out at all those damned old geezers, just as he admirably stops himself from just snarling at that old crone. Oh, if Hakuryuu knew how hard he's working for their sake, he would be so proud of him.

Ah, Hakuryuu doesn't know yet that they're going to be on the same side.

To be fair, Judar has always probably known, even way back then when they first met.

It's just that it's only now that he finally realizes the deeper meaning for his attraction towards the other.

Regretfully, it's also only just now that he realizes that he's been going through all of this in the wrong way.

Hakuryuu's bound to be suspicious of him because he's with that old crone's organization. For Hakuryuu, who's been betrayed by a person he used to trust, he's going to be wary of others. He's not just going to trust Judar's words, which is his biggest mistake. He's also not going to be trusting of Judar's actions, which is such a huge shame.

But no matter.

Hakuryuu will eventually _reach_ the same understanding that Judar has.

After all, amongst all the people that Judar has ever seen during all of those years of travelling and spreading strike, he's only been able to find just _one person_ who's exactly the same as him.

Fate is not going to be able to stop him from making Hakuryuu realize that they're meant to be.

•••

When he sees the stupid king come in for same farce of peace talks and negotiations, he doesn't feel any of the pull that he used to feel before. Or maybe he still does, because the other's _magoi_ reserves and potential strength isn't anything to laugh at. But the _pull_ is completely uninteresting and weak now, especially if he compares it to the intensity that bubbles low in his gut whenever he catches a glimpse of Hakuryuu or even when he just hears the other's name.

When he sees Kouen, Koumei, Kouha or the old hag, the pull he used to feel towards them also becomes infinitely weaker than before.

He's not surprised.

It's almost as though his newfound realization has also made him focus on the _one_ right _king_ and none of the useless, filler, second-rate options that Al Thamen has thrown his way.

That's fine.

The thought that it's been _years_ and he still has not convinced his one, true _king_ to use him to obtain more power rankles a little bit, but he doesn't take that against Hakuryuu.

He understands how Hakuryuu's mind works, even if the other seems content with playing the role of the decent, useless prince recently. He can't just simply ignore the darkness swimming right underneath Hakuryuu's façade. He knows how much the other hates that old fucking crone, but it's not only that that he hates in the end. He doesn't recognize it yet, because he's all blinded by thoughts of what he _should_ be doing when there's a world of possibilities that will be open to him, as long as he finally opens his eyes and takes the hand that has always been draped over him.

And because he understands how Hakuryuu's mind works for the most part—

Judar smiles darkly at the sight of Hakuryuu kneeling down in front of the pig emperor, all grateful smiles and obedient bows, as he implores for a chance to be sent to travel to Sindria just after his training with the Yambala tribe.

He hates the thought of Hakuryuu getting into contact with the stupid king – after all, there's a chance that Hakuryuu will be tainted by that deceiving brilliance that's really just all shadows underneath. But then again, it's also possible that it will work in making Hakuryuu see that there's no escaping the darkness, if even the world's strongest man succumbs to it.

Judar hates a lot of things with their situation, but when he thinks of how this can aid in making Hakuryuu seek his help…

Well, nobody can ever say that he has claimed to be unselfish.

•••

"You're being strange, Judar."

Judar muffles his laugh against his loose scarf that's now half-draped on Hakuryuu's collarbones. White looks nice against Hakuryuu's skin – any color probably, will do – but he thinks that black will look especially great, to create such a lovely contrast against his pale skin and his pure-white moral views.  
  
"… _really_?"

Hakuryuu huffs as though his laughing reaction is a huge affront to his sensibilities. Judar can easily tell it's not though. Hakuryuu's such a great piece of work – he doesn't mind going with the flow of being friendly again with Judar as long as Al Thamen or his revenge aren't brought up directly. He also craves this company, this companionship and the comfort it brings, despite it coming from someone he doesn't trust now.

It's almost like he's playing a game of tiptoeing around the buttons that he can't push unless he wants Hakuryuu to kick him out unceremoniously off his bed.

…Judar would normally be fine with that. Hakuryuu _is_ stronger than him physically, but he's no use against his _borg_ … no wait… his _borg_ will never automatically activate against him anymore, because he's somehow already accepted Hakuryuu as a part of _him_ , so his _borg_ will not think that he's something to guard against.

Huh.

Come to think of it, he might not be so okay with that, then.

Also, Hakuryuu is bound for Sindria tomorrow along with the old hag, so this is going to be the last night in a long while that Judar will get to cuddle with Hakuryuu in his own cramped bed that is unbelievably small and cozy. While this is far from the last time that Judar will see his king – he's already prepared to sneak away from the old geezers and the entourage that will send him to present himself to Kouen's shiny new territory in Balbadd.

Hakuryuu makes a soft sound that almost sounds gentle – Judar knows it's only because the other's sleepy, so he's being more pliant. "…fine, you're stranger than usual."

…He needs to focus.

A _magi_ shouldn't be ignoring his king.

"I'm gonna miss you lots, Hakuryuu," he coos as sweetly as he can, making sure to flash his smirk at Hakuryuu before biting down on his exposed neck.

He doesn't bite too hard, because Hakuryuu will be all about appearances for tomorrow, even if nobody really looks upon him too closely in this empire, even though he'll just locking himself up in his private cabin and will not interact with anyone until it's time for them to land on Sindria's port. He would like to mark Hakuryuu from inside out to stake his claim upon this king ignored by people and mocked by fate, but he had already decided to do that only once Hakuryuu has completely accepted him and not any time earlier.

He would honestly like to do so many things to Hakuryuu, but he hasn't gained the other's complete trust yet so he won't do _those_ yet.

Not yet.

But soon, if his plans go through.

Hakuryuu's hands are on his shoulders, not quite pushing away but not digging into his skin to encourage his ministrations.

That's fine.

If this kind of passiveness helps Hakuryuu accept his desire for him better, then that's fine.

This way, Hakuryuu can pretend all he wants about him not wanting to do anything with him. This way, Hakuryuu will not see the way Judar looks at him with such longing for him to finally understand.

Judar kisses all over Hakuryuu's neck and upper chest, tugging away at the scarf and the robe and making sure to keep his touches feather-light to give just a hint of his presence, but also to drive Hakuryuu into a twitching mess. He would like to see Hakuryuu go teary-eyed at his touches, unable to resist in the end—

"Ugh, don't leave marks," Hakuryuu's probably planning for his voice to be all stern and commanding, but he's starting to moan too enthusiastically for that. Judar grins cheekily against Hakuryuu's skin and fantasizes about his lips being heated iron that can brand Hakuryuu's skin with each kiss.

Judar can't wait to see Hakuryuu again, even if they haven't even separated yet.

"I'll really, really, really miss you lots, Hakuryuu~"

And since Judar knows Hakuryuu really well, despite the other's protest otherwise, he knows that Hakuryuu will miss him too, even just a little bit.

He steels his resolve by thinking of how things would be very soon.

Judar doesn't even think of the possibility of things not going his way.

•••

He curses the way the old geezers are more attentive to his actions recently.

He knows that they don't really _care_ for him, but they're just doing all that they can to inconvenience him.

No thanks to their meddling with his affairs, he arrives at Sindria too late to see Hakuryuu set off for Zagan. He's too late to warn Hakuryuu of the nasty feeling he got from that dungeon and from its surrounding area. He's too late to listen in on the conversation that surely happened between Hakuryuu and the stupid king, so he didn't manage to hear the stupid king's answer to Hakuryuu's proposal to borrow his alliance's help with purging the Kou Empire.

Urgh, just thinking about it makes his blood boil.

But well, not everything is truly lost.

He's not very happy with the thought that Hakuryuu will gain a metal vessel from a dungeon that's not due to him, but he's excited to see the strength that Hakuryuu will get from this.

There's no doubt that Hakuryuu will obtain Zagan, in his mind.

From his observation, the stupid king didn't send any of his generals to the dungeon – it's not like they could ever be a king vessel anyway. The only other people who could have accompanied Hakuryuu would have been the very _interesting_ chibi magi, his idiot candidate and the muscle girl who had very little magoi to sustain a _djinn_ as a king vessel. In any case, lackluster companions aside, Judar also has no doubt that Hakuryuu's _purity_ will interest a _djinn_ to bestow a metal vessel upon him.

…but hey, what if Hakuryuu encounters trouble and doesn't reach the _djinn_?

He can enter the dungeon too, but that's not going to make Hakuryuu happy.

He's always been rather self-conscious about his lack of power and Judar swooping in there to rescue him is just going to irritate him and send him further away.

Not good.

He believes that Hakuryuu is strong enough for this dungeon.

…but wait, he can sense a mass of black _rukh_ going towards Zagan. Black metal vessel users?

Ahh, Judar has faith that Hakuryuu will be able to be triumphant over them.

Also, the stupid king is surely not stupid enough to not sense that kind of development – he'll surely not let this chance slip him by, so that he can capture his own set of black metal vessels.

… _focus_.

He needs to focus.

He dislikes thinking too much, because realizations or not, he's still pretty much an impulsive guy. But he needs to think things through so he can get what he wants.

Once Hakuryuu obtains a metal vessel, he'll surely appear in the stupid king's radar, as one of the options for his set of pawns. He'll also surely get the attention of Kouen – because he'll also want to get him on his side as one of the _brothers_ who'll fight under the same banner of his ideals. He's not sure whether this would be enough to get the old crone's attention, but well. He can do something about that later.

For now…

Hakuryuu will surely try to get the stupid king on _his side_ , even just temporarily. And he would end up used by that stupid king when that happens.

Hakuryuu doesn't need anyone else aside from him.

He's _sure_ of that.

The darkness swimming underneath Hakuryuu's surface is sure of that.

So, for now…

He needs to make sure that the stupid king will not be easily able to offer his _help_ to Hakuryuu. He needs to make sure that Hakuryuu will have no choice but to return to Kou Empire, where Judar will be waiting for him with an offer that he can't refuse. And then…

Ahh, the old hag will be all sad once she hears about the war against Sindria. He doesn't really care, but it will be a pain to deal with her pleading with him to stop being mean to her stupid crush. Ah well, he doesn't really have anything against the stupid king – once upon a time, he also felt that pull towards him, after all – but wouldn't it be interesting to fight against someone that strong? The world's strongest man against him and his perfect king… it would be a match to look forward to.

…but ahh, focus.

He needs to focus.

Any more of this and he'll end up wanting to go to Zagan and check up on Hakuryuu and that's not part of his agenda today.

With a grin, he focuses the _magoi_ around him, from the skies, from the seas, to pierce the flimsy barrier protecting this stupid, peaceful country.

Ahh, declaring a war against this country of people smiling so freely without a care for people like him and Hakuryuu… it's gonna be _amazing_.

•••

…as expected, there are a lot of complaints about his lateness.

Geez, he spends _weeks_ without seeing or touching Hakuryuu and do they see him complaining?

Don't they know that they're pretty lucky that he's resolved not to act on his own until he manages to convince Hakuryuu to his side?

He can't take any more of these complaints about him being disrespectful to Kouen and stuff…

Kouen is interestingly powerful and Kouha has his interesting moments… and Koumei… nah, too gloomy to tell… but yes. He'd rather not hear them harp on and on about his refusal to kneel in front of Kouen, about his disregard for _formal_ apologies for his unpunctuality, ahh, do they have a problem with the rampaging squid souvenir he brought, and probably some other things he can't really care about.

Balbadd is annoyingly sultry that he almost wants for something to happen at the capital so that he'll have an easy excuse to return there.

It's inconvenient to go back and forth between Balbadd and Sindria, so he'd rather Hakuryuu also return to the mainland as soon as possible… but he'll probably, wisely, want to train and hone his powers somewhere far away from the old crone and her puppets.

…focus.

Kouen is finally addressing him.

He patiently waits for his name to be said so he can finally say his part. Oh, he's itching to split this world into tiny pieces already… but no, it needs to be gradual, or else Hakuryuu can't catch him.

…or is it him that's catching Hakuryuu?

…anyway, _focus_.

"…Yeah, I told Sinbad something: 'Why don't you fight a war against us?'"

…as expected, Kouha and Koumei are all shocked and stuff. Ahh, he doesn't want to listen to their complaints…

But Kouen seems pleased, because this is right up his alley of wanting to conquer the entire world. He may hide it under some pretty words of _unity_ and eradicating _future wars_ , but he's not particularly keen on trying to see if that's true or if he's just like others who like to wrap things up in _lies_ —he doesn't particularly care—

"…that's very befitting for the magi of my empire."

…ah, Kouen.

Judar wants to correct him, because he isn't a magi of _his_ empire.

But that would be just like spoiling the plot twist at the very beginning of the show, or revealing the trump card right at the start of a fight. So he wouldn't do that.

Plus, Hakuryuu's all about his revenge against _just_ his mother now, but there's no doubt he'll realize that that isn't enough. Kouen should be hated too, shouldn't he?

So there will be plenty of time to erase these words that Kouen's spouting.

…oh, he missed the rest of Kouen's speech.

Oh well.

It's not like it matters.

•••

…he's getting kind of sick of studying.

There are very little scrolls devoted to the studying of one's _rukh_ and deriving knowledge from that.

But he needs to master that – master it enough that he'll become more powerful.

If the old geezers can easily do a _rukh_ transfer, surely he can too!

…so he really needs to focus on studying.

Not only that, but he can sense the pig emperor's _rukh_ fade into nothingness faster day by day. It's only a matter of time until he finally croaks, so it means that it's only a matter of time until Hakuryuu _finally_ returns to the capital. Not only that, it means that the old crone's plans to finally rise up as the Empress Dowager will finally come to light. And with that, Kouen's fanatic supporters will not keep quiet, and Hakuryuu will see it as a chance to finally attempt to break free from the old crone…

Ah, it would be fun to see Hakuryuu's level of strength now, even if it's going to be annoying to see him be beaten by that witch.

He needs to _focus._

He can't be selfish – not like this and not at this point.

He's been enduring weeks of sucking up to the old crone and enduring her grabby hands that liked to hold on to his elbow whenever they were within two feet of each other. He's been enduring the many, many, many times of seething quietly as he tried to sound as casual as possible as he commented on the empire's metal vessel users, as he injected Hakuryuu into the conversation as one of the strongest and with the greatest potential.

He's been enduring many days of speaking of Hakuryuu as a tool that needed to be manipulated and crushed by the organization.

He can't give up at this point.

Not after he's done so many things already to set things into motion.

Not when he can almost _taste_ Hakuryuu's darkened rukh against his lips.

•••

Because he knows Hakuryuu well, he knows that Hakuryuu will try to convince his dearest sister to join him in his uprising against the old crone.

And because there's nobody else aside from him who understands Hakuryuu, he will surely fail to convince his sister to join him.

And after he fails, he'll surely be wandering around the palace, but he'll go for the direction that's the opposite of where his sister would go after fleeing from him. Since it's Hakuei, she'll either go to her own room or seek solace in Kouen's study. Both of those places are in the East Wing. The North Wing is currently opened for the citizens to mourn the pig emperor's death, while the South Wing is the unofficial base of Al Thamen – a fact that Hakuryuu knows. Which means that he'll only go towards the West Wing… and there's only one path to go there from where he will hold his talk with his sister.

(Well, it's not like he would have missed Hakuryuu's presence – he's like a walking, seething mass of _darkness_ right now, after all.)

…so Judar patiently waits for Hakuryuu in the open area, uncaring about the sudden storm that has unleashed its downpour.

He remembers their childhood for one brief moment – during the storm touted as the strongest in history, during the time when Hakuryuu still didn't know that he had the capability to resist gravity and _fly_ , during the time when all Hakuryuu wanted was to do some boring sightseeing. The memory fades quickly, but the taste of that dream still lingers. He can't wait to see those boring mountains and own the entire world.

He senses Hakuryuu's arrival and it takes everything of his self-control to not launch himself at Hakuryuu like a clingy vine. He's done well during their silent confrontation yesterday, but now that's he's finally ready to present his offer to Hakuryuu more seriously—

"…I have something I wish to discuss with you, Hakuryuu…"

Hakuryuu's face already looks angry enough, but no, that isn't enough. It's still just hatred born of being abandoned by his sister at the time that he needed her the most, still just hatred at the old crone for ruining his life and his revered brothers' futures, still just hatred at himself for not being strong enough to take control of the country after the Great Fire.

Judar needs him to realize that that kind of anger just _isn't enough_. He should stop trying to stifle it and suffocating himself with his own restrictions.

"There's nothing to discuss with someone like you…" Hakuryuu's expression loses that polite mask he likes whenever he's dealing with others. It's kind of exhilarating that Hakuryuu treats him differently, that he feels comfortable enough with him to show this side. Even if it does get a little disheartening and distressing at times. "…because you've been a pawn of that woman and that organization since the beginning…"

Oh.

 _Oh_.

"…But that's the same for you, right?"

Judar is quite pleased that the conversation easily steered to this directly.

Surely.

Surely, Hakuryuu will realize that they have the same circumstances, the same goals, the same everything that's important.

 _Surely, he will_.

"…?"

Judar's mouth twists. "You intend to oppose your mother with your own free will, but your hatred and your vengeance, is just all of her _manipulating_ you!" With one hand on his hip, he lets the other hand gesture to Hakuryuu. "Even your way of living is just being controlled by your mother."

He feels the other's shout a few flashes before Hakuryuu's words even leave his mouth.

That's how attuned he is to Hakuryuu.

Surely, Hakuryuu will realize that.

"You're _wrong_!"

A crack of lightning splits the monotonous sound of raindrops hitting the ground.

Come to think of it, has Hakuryuu ever said that he's wrong…?

No matter.

It's a small thing in the upcoming war that they'll be soon involved in.

"But even so, I've got my faith in you, you know?" Judar smiles as he considers his king's anger. His smile widens as he speaks of his king's strength – strength that's not even tapping into half of his whole potential. "You've become real strong. And there's someone that I absolutely want to show your power to…"

"…?!" Hakuryuu looks confused at his praise – why would he be? It's not like he's ever made a secret of that, has he? He's always considered Hakuryuu's _strength._ Not that just battle strength, because that can be honed. Not just _magoi_ quantity, because that can be supplied by a _magi._ But the strength to withstand the world's cruel fate without succumbing to its flimsy ideals. The strength that only Hakuryuu possesses.  
  
Oh.

He's been so happy and focused on Hakuryuu that he almost forgot about the old crone.

Hakuryuu looks so aghast at her sight though. "What?!"

"Hakuryuu." The old crone says his name real smoothly, like she's planning to touch him in ways that should make someone's skin crawl. "Judar has been praising you so much, so I wanted to speak with you."

"?!"

And again, it's kind of distressing to see Hakuryuu so surprised that he's on his side.

Does he still think that he's just playing around when he calls him _king_?

And while he considers that, the old crone just comes closer and closer to Hakuryuu, arms outstretched in a mockery of a mother's gentleness. "Come, let me see your face. You've grown so much. Come, let me touch you."

Judar would have laughed upon seeing Hakuryuu slap her hands away, but he still needs to maintain some sort of farce here. He still needs to make sure that he's involved in the big plan of Al Thamen, so he can grab that power they're planning to use.

"Fufufu, your eyes have grown sharper." The old crone sounds inappropriately pleased. "You finally have the same scowling face as Hakuyuu and Hakuren…"

Judar takes a step back as he knows that mention those two will surely elevate Hakuryuu's anger.

"What?"

The old crone seems to be encouraging Hakuryuu to snap, as expected of her antagonistic tendencies that loved to laugh at other's futile struggles against the misfortune that she has caused. "At that time, I didn't really care whether you or Hakuei survived, but maybe, just like them… I should kill Hakuei too?"

Judar observes Hakuryuu's _djinn equip_ , considering its power. It's wonderful, what Hakuryuu was able to call upon when Zagan isn't a particularly offense-based djinn. He's already seen the army of monstrous creatures that Hakuryuu has enslaved to bring him to the capital faster, and he's already seen the other's ingenuity in using Zagan to make up for his lost arm (ugh, he really should have gone to Zagan then to help his king…). There are still more possibilities of how to hone Zagan's power, but for now—just mindless brute force is certainly not going to defeat this old crone. She's fucking strong, after all.

Hakuryuu's power is useless against the old crone's strong borg.

Judar dislikes seeing Hakuryuu hurt in any circumstance, but this is _necessary_ for Hakuryuu to realize the difference in strength that cannot be closed via simple, half-hearted means.

She whispers something – something _taunting_ , probably – that he can't hear over the sound of the rain and the sparks of magic clashing.

Judar hides his wince by turning his head to the side – because Hakuryuu just got flung out _across_ two buildings.

Hakuryuu doesn't have the luxury of owning a _borg_ , which is just one of the many reasons why he should work with him. He'll make sure to always help protect him.

He makes sure to keep his expression neutral just in case there are any old geezers spying on him. He makes sure to stay put and not rush to Hakuryuu's side. He makes sure to not react to the sight of that old crone breathing in that close to Hakuryuu.

She leans in close enough for her to whisper anything – and Judar will not be able to know.

She could be whispering anything: from a nasty provocation to a deceptive affection. It could be anything and Judar will not able to hear.

She pats Hakuryuu's head once, before walking back to her entourage of old geezers, her gaze not even once straying to Judar or his expression.

Still, her total disregard for the two of them aside, Judar waits until she's safely out of earshot, before walking over to where Hakuryuu has crashed against a building. Whatever was in that building... well, the old geezers are pretty good at making sure any damage they cause are as inconspicuous as possible, so there's no doubt they would be swarming here in the next couple of hours, doing damage control. He's not particularly worried for the architecture though. Instead, he takes his time in waiting for Hakuryuu to snap out of his trance and recognize his presence again.

It's part of his plan for Hakuryuu to lash out against the old crone and get soundly defeated. He doesn't feel any smidgen of triumph or happiness at this turn of events though. Well, okay, so he does feel the tiniest bit accomplished. Everything that has happened so far is still within his expected outcomes. If everything continues to follow the path that he's striving for, Hakuryuu should choose his side soon.

For now…

Hakuryuu's right hand twitches, no doubt remembering how the old crone manipulated them all by acting like the perfectly supportive mother. There's a huge gash on his right shoulder, his blood staining his robe a vibrant red. He'll help dress those wounds up later, but for now…

"…As I thought, it seems that your anger towards your mother can only get you this far…"

"…?!" Hakuryuu looks at him with a stunned expression, wordlessly wondering about his words.

"But if… you ever decide to curse your 'fate'…" Judar lets the words linger, swaying unhindered by the rain, before he leans in close, closer than what the old crone did, and placing a heavy hand over his relatively unscathed left shoulder. "I will take you by the hand!"

And because he knows Hakuryuu well enough to know that the other would prefer to regain his thoughts first, alone, he walks away, already thinking of whether he can bully the old hag for a first-aid kit or something.

•••

When he shows up at Hakuryuu's bedside window without any preamble, Hakuryuu looks at him with furrowed eyebrows that seem to scream that he's far from reaching a decision regarding cursing his fate.

That, partnered with the weary look at his dripping wet locks. He shrugs at Hakuryuu, flipping over his braid with one casual roll of his shoulders. It's not like he _can't_ use light wind magic to dry his hair, but he'd rather do it once he's safely ensconced in Hakuryuu's bedroom. He levitates the small kit of first-aid and bandage and stuff – stolen from Kouha's followers, because Kougyoku is apparently _useless_ when it comes to this stuff since she has her attendant that is part of Phenex's household.

He grins helplessly when Hakuryuu finally sighs and gestures for him to come inside.

While this is far from the first time that he has entered Hakuryuu's room, this is the first time he'll do so after Hakuryuu has shown more overt signs of his _descent_ to his side.

He's slightly nervous, because there are so many things that have already happened, and there are a great many more things that should happen in the future. He can't make a wrong move that will somehow turn Hakuryuu away for another ten years.

But Hakuryuu's looking at him still, albeit with a more haunted expression than healthy. Despite his shock at being rejected by his sister, at being defeated so easily by the old crone, at being offered definite power by someone who he had always claimed to be someone that he never wanted to get the power of… despite all of that, there's still a spark in Hakuryuu's eyes.

 _Strength_.

His _rukh_ has that tell-tale disturbance in it, but it's still quieter than the whole lot of idiots in this palace.

Judar can tell that Hakuryuu is thinking about ' _fate_ ', probably is itching to ask him to elaborate on that concept. He's also most likely trying to figure out his _angle_ and _reasons_ for picking him out of all the other generals in the palace. He's had an answer since they first met, even if that answer didn't have a definite form until a few months ago. But as soon as Hakuryuu asks him directly… he already has an answer waiting to be shared.

For now…

"That wound looks nasty," he comments on the gash on his right shoulder, the brilliant red color mostly wiped away. Hakuryuu already has a roll of bandages and a basin with pinkish water, along with a container of greenish gel. Probably thanks to _Zagan_ 's powers.

Hakuryuu simply looks at him for a few more heartbeats, before returning his attention to cleaning his wounds.

Judar knows that Hakuryuu is watching him, assessing him, so he simply keeps a smile on his face as he unfurls his braid, his wet hair exploding free of its confines. With a quick flick of his wrist and staff, a small whirlwind wraps his hair strands in order to squeeze the rain out of them properly. Hakuryuu scoots over closer to the headboard as soon as he sees Judar's now-dry hair get re-braided with magic, wordlessly allowing Judar to help him with dressing his wounds.

 _His king_.

Judar smiles wryly as he carefully disinfects the wounds on the back that Hakuryuu cannot reach, before helping him wrap the bandages around his chest. Right now, he knows that Hakuryuu is only allowing him to do this because he's too busy thinking about a lot of things.

It's not yet night, after all.

In the future…

Judar will be able to do this again for his king.

Very soon…

Hakuryuu will finally go to his side.

His certainty has nothing to do with reading the so-called great flow or knowing their _fates_.

Judar knows it because they're the only ones in this entire world who are exactly the same.

And nothing can change that.

Not the old crone.

Not even the world's shitty destiny.

Judar can't wait.

•••

_Even so, I've got faith in you, you know?_

**••• part 05 [end]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Notes:**
> 
> • Title is inspired by Sinbad's "classification", as a miracle that defies the order of things. Singularity can also mean "uniqueness", "distinctiveness", "unity", or "a point at which a function takes an infinite value, especially in space-time when matter is infinitely dense, as at the center of a black hole"  
> • Song lyrics is from紅蓮の弓矢(Crimson Bow and Arrow) © Shingeki no Kyojin OST.  
> • This chapter is very… rambling? no thanks to Judar's POV.  
> • Hakuryuu knows how to handle Judar (e.g. that Judar usually says the opposite when he's teasing) (magi vol 20 omake)  
> • Judar ignores Sinbad when he visits Kou Empire for the "peace talks" (chapter 84)  
> • Headcanon: Judar has planned for Hakuryuu to fall into depravity by acting a certain way on certain situations


	6. cast to damnation

••• **06 – Change – "Cast to Damnation"**

 _The bird broke through its shell to soar through the skies,_  
 _Not to crawl on the ground without dignity, right?_  
 _And what are your wings for?  
_ _Isn’t the sky within your cage too narrow for you?_

•••

Hakuryuu _knows_ the moment Judar starts watching him train.

It's been happening every single day for the past three weeks, so he already knows that it's long gone past the point that he can sufficiently claim that it's merely a coincidence. No matter how hard he glares or how much he scolds Judar for his blatant stalking, the other will not budge. Hakuryuu knows that the other not only possesses an inflated ego that is well-supported by his importance to the empire, but Judar is also very _persistent._

At this point, Hakuryuu is only grateful for small mercies such as Judar's terrifying inability to wake up before the cooks start their preparations for lunch. This way, he still gets a window of time to practice his spearmanship without any distractions or any prickling feeling at the back of his neck. Having to somehow _cater_ to Judar's whims also has long gone past the point of simple irritation – he's had a couple of days to fume about it and it's now just… something that's there.

Hakuryuu side-steps his three instructors as they execute a combination attack that aims to make him relinquish his hold on the spear. He calms himself down by focusing on the beat that runs through his head as he makes two-three-two steps, coupled with charges of his spear.

He knows that he's not just being too self-conscious, because he can _sense_ Judar's arrival at his favorite spot atop one of the peach trees overlooking Hakuryuu's self-claimed training grounds. While he won't put it past Judar to be throwing small bursts of lightning magic to make his body prickly and tingling… no, he's pretty sure that it's just Judar's shameless staring that's making him feel weird.

"That's good, Prince Hakuryuu," his main instructor acknowledges with a cool, polite tone as ends up avoiding their combination attack, while at the same time making two of them drop their spears.

Hakuryuu bows respectfully as he catches his breath. "Thank you."

He then shifts to another stance, as they read for another round.

Hakuryuu wipes the sweat from his forehead, angling his face so that he can observe Judar from his peripheral vision. He's not… interested in what the other is doing – he's probably just napping or gorging on those peaches again, most likely – but he'd like to confirm his _senses_ that scream at him unnecessarily at Judar's arrival.

…Judar is waving at him so enthusiastically, a proud, adoring expression on his face – an openness that hasn't been there since they were kids – that Hakuryuu instinctively waves back, absentmindedly loosening his hold on his spear despite his instructors already starting to attack him.

"Prince—!"  
"— _Hakuryuu_!!!"

Almost dimly, he takes a step back as he realizes that he's so stupid, how can he drop his guard down that easily, what has Judar done to him for him to react that way, he never gets distracted by such trivial matters—

Three spears hover inches from his face – they're not hovering, Hakuryuu realizes.

"…Ice?"

Hakuryuu turns to his right, to see Judar on top of peach tree, stark black against the green leaves and the red-painted buildings in the area. His right hand is outstretched, ruby end of his staff pointed at him, no at the space between him and his instructors' spears.

Judar looks shocked at his autopilot response too, but he regains his composure easily, jumping from the tree branch and walking towards them using his gravity magic.

The wall of ice only crumbles once Judar is within a meter distance, the air cooling considerably. Hakuryuu shivers, though it honestly is mostly because of Judar's piercing gaze.

"…They would be annoyed to find the water from the pond all dried up," Hakuryuu eventually manages to say, his hand gripping his spear tight. His instructors have relinquished their holds on their respective spears, resulting in clanking sounds as the spears drop to the ground. The three of them are respectfully bowing to Judar, right, because he's technically an important Oracle.

"Maa, maa, they'll live, don't sweat the small stuff," Judar waves off his concerns like they're nothing. He doesn't give an explanation for his sudden uninvited presence nor does he attempt to disguise his interruption as anything other than an attempt to spare Hakuryuu of a couple of days of nursing wounds on his face and neck.

"Did you need something…?" He trails off, because he's not sure how he'd like to address the other while they're surrounded by other people. But then he realizes that he can indulge Judar this time, because he still spared him a bit of trouble, despite his meddling being unnecessary. "…Judar?"

Judar grins at him like he made the right choice. "Yeah! I'm getting hungry, Hakuryuu. I want to eat your cooking again!"

"You literally just woke up, didn't you?"

He could see the messiness at the back of Judar's head. If he's going to use magic to tame his hair, he should at least _do it right_.

"I didn't! I was watching you for like an hour now," Judar says brightly, ignoring the three instructors' bows. He doesn't dismiss them though, so they keep their heads angled down.

Hakuryuu sighs at the other's shameless admission of his very lazy life. He gestures for Judar to lean towards him, so that he can smooth down the tufts of hair sticking out. He has _words_ that he'd like to say about the other's easygoing life, but he holds them back, because he can't trust his instructors to not spread whatever's happening as gossip. "And what would you like to eat?"

Judar practically sparkles at him at that question. Hakuryuu doesn't have the heart to tell him that he's just _asking_ , it's not like he's already agreed to cook for him. He hasn't cooked for anyone in quite some time, not until his sister—no, best not to think about that now.

"I'll eat anything you make!"

Hakuryuu smiles slightly, immediately seizing the opportunity. "Even _vegetables_?"

Judar's grin falters a bit, but he huffs and places his hands on his hips once Hakuryuu has finished fixing his hair to be more presentable. "Ugh, even vegetables…"

Well, for Judar to _willingly_ offer to eat his most hated type of food… Hakuryuu's already thinking of how he can make the entire meal filled with all types of vegetables.

"…Sensei, I'll see you again tomorrow morning." Hakuryuu dismisses his instructors, bowing down to thank them for their time today. He doesn't stay to watch their expressions or reactions at being dismissed an hour before the usual time, because Judar's already chattering about this and that, striding away while floating a couple of inches above the ground.

For a moment, Hakuryuu watches the tail of Judar's braid swish, thinking that while the other's meddling is really unnecessary… maybe it won't hurt to complete the meal with a peach-based dessert.

•••

"…you actually woke up for _this_?"

Hakuryuu knows that Judar's internal battery doesn't start working until the sun is almost directly overhead, so he's very surprised that the other managed to drag himself out of his thick cocoon of blankets conjured on Hakuryuu's bed.

There are visible lines of fatigue underneath Judar's eyes, because Judar's too sleepy to apply his _kohl_ and Judar's hiding from the organization's magicians who he can bully to apply the make-up on him and Hakuryuu will _surely_ not do it for him.

"Aaah, well, this is the last time we can use _this_ ," Judar pats the carpet that's steadier than Hakuryuu remembers. "They'll be using _alllll_ of the magic tools once they move out later, after all."

All of the empire's metal vessel users are moving out to fortify their bases westward—all of them, except for Koumei and Hakuryuu. In Koumei's case, he should be moving out to Balbadd soon too. Even _Kougyoku_ is going to the west-most base of the capital. Well, he should be going with his sister, because even with his newly-acquired power, none of the advisors trust him with a territory or base of his own. He's supposed to just tag along with his sister, just offer his support.

It's kind of sickening.

There are rumors of war against Sindria and its Alliance, against Magnostadt, even Reim… eventually, this empire will cast its eyes out to the entire world, forcing everyone to submit to them and be used and used until not even their anger is left.

Hakuryuu looks out to the mountains that he used to admire, to the houses of the citizens that worship the empire for allowing them to live, conveniently forgetting that it's this very same empire that subjugated them to begin with, to the rays of the sun starting to peek out from the horizon.

"It _is_ cool, isn't it?" Judar asks, ruining his words with a face-splitting yawn. "There are a lot of awesome things beyond this, there are also your boring mountains and plants, there's even that unknown continent or something that I heard about… can you see them _now_?"

"I'm not blind," Hakuryuu retorts, even though he knows what Judar is really saying.

He's telling him that—

"From here," Judar points to himself with his left hand, "to everything and beyond," he waves his right hand, the staff pointing to the distance, "everyth _iiiiiii_ ng can be yours!"

—he can have everything should he accept Judar's offer.

"I don't really want that," Hakuryuu says, pointedly raising an eyebrow at Judar's left hand still pointing to himself.

He doesn't really want _Judar_ – and he wants the entire world even less. He just wants—

"Maa, maa, I know you just reallllly hate the old crone, but I'm just _saying_ , if you—"

"—curse my 'fate', yes, I know."

Judar smiles at him like he's missing something. It's not patronizing, but it's as though there's a secret that he'll have to uncover on his own. He does have his own curiosities, but if this secret has nothing to do with his goals, then he's not interested.

"Ah, I'm sleepy, Hakuryuu."

Hakuryuu frowns as the carpet rolls underneath him, destabilizing from Judar's sleepiness, no doubt. There are soldiers beneath them, scurrying around in neat little files as they prepare for the generals moving out.

He inclines his head towards Judar, looks at the way there's barely a centimeter separating their knees as they sit cross-legged. There's another reason why the two of them are out here at the crack of dawn, but they can't do anything yet until more soldiers are awake to witness them.

Hakuryuu bites his lip and hates the way his face feels hot under Judar's scrutinizing eyes.

"Why don't you offer this to Kouen… or Koumei… or even my sister?"

He knows that he's almost as good as a transparent shadow to everyone else. He's merely the fourth-ranked prince now, without any territories, with supporters. He's far from the ideals of _king_. He's not even comparable to his sister, or to Sinbad, or even to Alibaba.

There's a huge possibility that Judar is simply stringing him along, either out of his own amusement, or more likely, due to orders from the organization.

In a way, he needs to know that this isn't just a _ruse_.

But he's not sure if he really wants to know, at this point.

It's not like Judar will answer him properly, right?

"…pffft, ask me that again when you actually want to know the answer, Hakuryuu~"

Hakuryuu stiffens, tensing as he sees the lack of sick amusement on the other's face.

There's also a small possibility that Judar is really, completely, interested in working with him and only him.

He opens his mouth to reply – reply _what_ exactly, he isn't sure yet – but Judar beats him to it.

"Hey, look, we have our audience now!"

Hakuryuu looks down and sees more soldiers on the palace grounds. There are some advisors too, holding scrolls in their hands. There are servants milling around, busying themselves in the kitchen, in the gardens, everywhere. The palace is starting to come to life with activity.

His sister is probably awake now, though she'll first want to see _Kouen_ to tell him about her departure, never mind that Kouen definitely knows about it since this movement is all part of his plan to expand westward. She never checks his room anymore, so she'll never see the messy blankets strewn everywhere, golden bangles on the bedside table, the crates of peaches that's making the room smell too sweet.

She'll never see him before she leaves.

Hakuryuu exhales, before standing up. He doesn't have his spear and he feels strange without it. He bends his knees a little so that he doesn't wobble along with the carpet being unsteady now.

Judar stands up after a few seconds, yawning still. He floats a little above the carpet, because he can't resist showing off. It would be a lot more impressive if he didn't have reddened lines on his face and arms or if he didn't have his hair sticking up in all directions.

For a moment, Hakuryuu wonders if this is really such a good idea – but then again, it's not like anyone in the palace _really_ cares about what they're up to. In Judar's case, the organization probably doesn't care as long as he helps them out in spreading darkness and chaos. In his case, they probably don't even know that he still exists.

Still, he'd like there to be _no holes_ in this plan.

Even if he hasn't fully decided yet to take Judar's hand.

(And use him, use his power, use everything he can offer.)

"I'm ready." Hakuryuu doesn't have his spear so if this goes wrong, he won't be able to summon microbes or plants to help cushion his fall.

Judar chuckles at him, raising both his hands. "Maa, maa, don't think too much, Hakuryuu~"

Then he summons water from the pond and stream nearby, forming a cloud of ice shards. With a grin that looks downright feral, he launches them all at Hakuryuu.

Part of their ruse is to have Judar supposedly _test_ him and his mastery of his new _djinn_ , deeming him useless for front-line battle and injuring him enough that he can't join his sister. Of course, anyone smart enough to take a deeper look into this will know that it's highly unlikely that he will agree to spar with Judar, much less without his _spear_ , and that he's strong enough to travel even with injuries if he really wanted to, but.

They're counting on the fact that nobody will care too much about them.

It's kind of sickening if he thinks about it further.

So he doesn't.

He instead braces himself for the nasty fall – which is cushioned by Judar using some kind… is that wind magic?… how many types of magic can he use simultaneously after all… - as he glares at Judar from his graceless heap at the ground. The _point_ is to have him look injured enough—

Judar's still grinning at him, before he throws something at his direction. Hakuryuu impulsively raises an arm to catch it – is that a pomegranate? Or wait like a blood orange…? – before Judar hits it with black lightning, causing so much red to burst and spray him unceremoniously.

What the _hell_.

This isn't part of their agreement, never mind that they never really _talked_ about this.

Judar's grin turns a little bit crazed when he yells at him, some things about being a powerless, useless crybaby.

They've successfully attracted a number of onlookers, probably hoping they can chide Judar for his childish behavior so early in the morning, probably criticizing him for being weak.

Hakuryuu looks at the red that looks like blood, considers the fact that he has zero injuries and he doesn't even have to act, because Judar's saying all those lines while acting like a third-rate villain.  
  
Huh.  
  
Now he really wants to know why Judar has picked him instead of Kouen or Koumei.

•••

Hakuryuu knows that Judar is pretty restless right now – even without knowledge about the _rukh_ and such, he can still easily sense the other's antsy movement.

"What is it, Judar?"

He's usually very patient, but he can't concentrate on the scrolls if Judar's just going to pace back and forth in the study. With both Kouen and Koumei out to Balbadd, he's the only one left in the palace who avidly spends time inside the huge study. There's a kind of peacefulness here, surrounded only by books and records of people long gone, people who can't distort the world with further lies.

His tactic of escaping from Judar's watchful eyes during his spearmanship training is to come here so he can at least be _productive_ , researching about plants and fungi to better use Zagan's ability, but after a few months of doing this, it seems that Judar has already swallowed his distaste for anything remotely related to studying and is now making a nuisance here as well.

It's not like Judar is particularly _noisy_ or anything.

It's just that… his presence is practically tugging at Hakuryuu and forcing him to pay attention to him instead of the scrolls, which is very much not helpful to his productivity.

Judar looks sheepish for a very brief moment. It's enough to stun Hakuryuu, because – just _no_. Judar's not supposed to make a face like that _ever_.

"Let's go to the markets," Judar says slowly, obviously tempering his apparent excitement.

"Why."

"Eeeeh, let's just go~~~" Judar usually devolves to outright whining when he thinks that he's not going to get his way, which means that his reason for wanting to go the markets is probably either very silly or downright unreasonable.

While it's true that he's not particularly busy right now with urgent engagements, he also is a bit wary about indulging Judar too much.

But then again, this can be a good exercise to see Judar on a different environment, maybe it will give him more insight as to why Judar has picked him. Maybe it will finally give him a more solid clue as to how he can use this guy's powers. Or maybe he's just fooling himself, but he doesn't dwell on that possibility long enough to get annoyed over it.

Hakuryuu decides that there should be _something_ he'll get out of this experience anyway.

"…you're going to spar with me _seriously_ tomorrow, in exchange."

The first and last time they had sparred seriously only ended up with Judar throwing pebbles at Hakuryuu, while Hakuryuu tried to pierce that _borg_ with his full djinn equip. Judar claims that he's just feeling lazy that day, but Hakuryuu can _sense_ that Judar doesn't want the possibility of _hurting_ him – how laughable. It's irksome how he's being underestimated, but it's also invoking some other feelings that he definitely doesn't need to examine right now.

Or _ever_.

" _Ugh_ , fine." Judar's expression looks as though he's eating his favorite peaches only to find out it's actually stuffed with vegetables. "Let's just _goooooo_ ~"

Hakuryuu folds the scrolls onto a neat pile, before allowing himself to be half-dragged by Judar. He keeps his face schooled into a blank expression, because he doesn't understand the other's excitement about the markets.

True, he used to be awed by talks about sparkling stones, fine fabrics, fur and metal from other territories, but that was before.

Judar's memory hasn't been that great to begin with, but he's recently being more forgetful. But still, there's that tiny possibility that he still remembers—

"Ah, isn't it nice?" Judar's already chomping onto some fried delicacy once Hakuryuu regains his senses. There's a paper bag that's bustling with sticks – are those grilled squid? – and there's a small stain at the edge of Judar's upper lip.

Hakuryuu's a bit overwhelmed by the frenzied activity, though he's a bit grateful that everyone's too focused on the stalls and getting to their destinations that they don't bother looking at the two them – the country's Oracle dressed without his ceremonial robes (come to think of it, it's been a really long time since he's seen Judar with his midriff actually covered with cloth) and the fourth prince wandering around without any guards (though it's likely that nobody remembers his face anymore).

"It's… busy."

There are no other words to describe the flood of people.

Judar laughs at him, shoving a stick of fried squid to his face. "Go on and eat some of these, Hakuryuu! They're really tasty!"

"Where did you even get the money?" Hakuryuu wonders out loud, but his words are drowned by the cheers of the people around him. Judar walks close to him, reminding him of his brothers and his sister when they walked with him with their fingers linked so that he doesn't become too anxious.

"Aaaargh, where was that stall again…"

"Where are you taking me?"

"It's a secret~" Judar says distractedly, growing antsy again as he looks left and right for the stall he's hunting down.

Hakuryuu would usually be amused by Judar buzzing around and being lost, but he's not that great with huge crowds. "Come on, let's just _ask_ for directions."

"Haaaa, there's no need! We'll find it!"

"Why am I included in the search now…" Hakuryuu looks around for a stall that would usually capture Judar's interest. Top possibility is a peach merchant, though they've passed by five of those already. Then again, knowing Judar, he's probably searching for his so-called _best peach ever_ , so there's that. Maybe he's looking for a betting ring or something? Or maybe a gambling place? But those would look terribly out of place in such a lively marketplace – come to think of it, there's a huge number of banners about the Kou Empire.

Isn't today…?  
  
Oh.  
  
Today's the official founding day of the Kou Empire.

And if today's that day, then it means…

"So we're searching for your gift to me?" Hakuryuu blurts out, stopping in his tracks. The stick of fried squid falls out of his hand's lax grip, eliciting a look of dismay from Judar.

Judar doesn't look the tiniest bit embarrassed at being discovered.

Why is he even going around buying a gift for him.

He's never done so in the past.

They've always just… did the usual.

Hakuryuu ignored him during the day and tolerated him when he commandeered his blankets and bed at night.

Is this part of his lending a hand thing?

Why is he even doing _this_?

"Are you an idiot~~~? Of course I already bought your gift! I just can't find where's that stall again…"

"…and you call me the idiot?" Hakuryuu asks with a long-suffering sigh.

"Nah, I was _asking_ if you're an idiot, not calling you one," Judar argues back, neck craned upwards so that he can search better. Hakuryuu wants to hit him – this is the best time to show off his _flying_ so he can find it better – even if it means they'll be separated for a while. Hakuryuu's not a kid anymore that needs to be guarded so closely after all.

"You—"

" _Ah_ , found it! Let's go, Hakuryuu!"

Hakuryuu feels the other's cold skin against his right arm, as the other drags him towards a stall further down the road. He doesn't get the chance to fully examine the surroundings, as Judar huddles the two of them near the shopkeeper, rolls of different fabrics with a variety of designs stacked around them. Instead, Hakuryuu focuses his gaze on Judar and his animated talking, saying something about how he'll not be pleased if it isn't done yet, while the shopkeeper looks haunted.

It's probably nothing – but Judar has apparently always had an intimidating aura.

Apparently – because Hakuryuu has never sensed that at all.

The shopkeeper – a burly old man with a thick moustache and robes made of embroidered silk – hands over a plainly-wrapped box, before focusing pleading eyes upon him, as though to beg him to remove Judar from the premises.

Hakuryuu blinks, but doesn't argue. He tugs at Judar's hand, because even without that silent plea, he's not really enjoying himself to be surrounded by all these citizens celebrating the birth of a empire that they don't really care about.

"Aw, you want to go back already?"

"It _is_ getting late."

"Ehh," Judar makes an unhappy sound, but he keeps the purchase close to his chest and links their elbows together, in a mockery of closeness, before walking away from the stall and back to the direction of the palace.

Hakuryuu doesn't resist too much, because he doesn't want to make a scene.

He also doesn't protest too much when Judar continues linking their elbows as they _walk_ back to the palace, just as he doesn't complain when the other practically shoves the gift to his hands, before making himself scarce.

Hakuryuu's not sure if he's grateful that Judar didn't stick around to watch him uncover his gift.

It's possible that this gift is actually just a prank that will explode if he opens it.

But then again, if it's something like that, Judar would surely stick around to watch his reaction.

So did Judar leave him be to reiterate his seriousness…?

It's not worth thinking so much about.

Hakuryuu tears the flimsy packaging and feels his blood run cold at the sight of the gift.

It's a white robe, with a long, powerful black dragon embroidered in it.

Against his will, he remembers the scene from a long time ago.

 _Black dragon_.

Hakuryuu's mouth twists as he thinks that it's so appropriately Judar that his birthday gift is more of a gift to himself rather than to Hakuryuu.

•••

Hakuryuu knows that there's another layer to Judar than what he usually shows to others.

What he's finding hard to accept is that, apparently the Judar he sees and interacts with is already _another_ layer.

Part of his duties as the Fourth Prince is apparently to stand there as decoration, while the palace sends off Koumei to Balbadd. The other imperial princesses are there – oh, so Kougyoku _is_ back in the palace – and it's a very tiresome affair. Hakuryuu consoles himself by thinking that at least that witch didn't deign this event important enough to show her face.

According to the information that he received – well, it's only Judar who ever shares this kind of information anyway – they're planning to crush Magnostadt first. They will leave the Balbadd stronghold to Koumei, while his sister and Kougyoku will be the back-up and left for defense. They're underestimating others again, simply leaving the conquest to Kouha and Kouen. Hakuryuu bites his lip hard enough to draw blood, keeping his face blank. He doesn't bow down to Koumei and Koumei doesn't say anything about that, doesn't even glance at him.

And Judar—

Judar is there, looking serious and regal even without his ceremonial robes. The advisors and princesses behind him titter and whisper about how dark the aura surrounding the magi is. Hakuryuu tilts his head and only sees a quiet Judar, probably fuming deep inside from wasting time in this farce.

Gone is the Judar who eats sloppily, hogs the blankets and wakes up with terrible bedhead.

It's kind of annoying.

Because he hates this Judar, the one who's silently letting himself be used by the organization.

Because this is the Judar who's a tool of the organization, from his birth until now.

Because this is the one who's offering him _power_.

Hakuryuu keeps his eyes trained straight ahead so that he doesn't make eye contact with anyone.

He can't wait for this farce to end.

•••

Hakuryuu knows that Judar is waiting for him.

"KOUMEI! HAKURYUU! HAKUEI! KOUGYOKU! COME FORTH, IMMEDIATELY!!!"

Kouen's voice reverberates throughout the palace.

He's been spending so much time thinking about how he can achieve his goals, cursing himself for his weakness, cursing that witch for her evil, cursing his heart for yearning for someone to lend him their strength while also understanding his circumstances. There's no such person in this world who will lend him strength if they really knew him and his thoughts and his reasoning. They all want to live their lives in the light, basking in fake motions of peace.

This is the best time.

He shouldn't hesitate any more.

He's been hiding from himself for _years_ and now that the Kou Empire is ready to conquer the world… now he's able to face the reality that even more than the evil and wars that the organization spreads, all he really hates in the end is that woman and her pawns.

Nobody in this complacent empire will wish for a civil war despite knowing how evil that witch is.

He will fulfill his objective, no matter what.

" _I will take you by the hand_."

Hakuryuu finds Judar in the same place where he made that offer last time, the sky above them dark with foreboding. The entire world has its eyes on Magnostadt and the brewing conflict there.

Now is the best time.

"Now is the right time. Give me your power as a _magi_ , Judar!"

Judar's grin is _happy_ and _content_ , as though he's been waiting for his answer for a very long time.

Red eyes are blazing at him, brighter than any jewels that he has ever seen in his short, wretched life.

"As you command, my _king_ ," Judar hasn't called him that in a very long time, not since the days when he was scolded for considering a weak crybaby a king when he wouldn't even recognize the emperor and his first two crown princes. "…or rather, please don't forget that I won't forgive you if you aren't determined enough. What do you wish for, Hakuryuu?!"

There's no turning back.

Judar's aura tells him that there's no way he can back down from this.

And that's fine with him.

"I'll kill Gyokuen, Kouen and take back the Kou Empire."

Judar's eyes are the color of pulsing blood.

He smiles, like there's still a secret that Hakuryuu doesn't know.

"…as you wish, _my king_."

•••

Hakuryuu knows that Judar has an interest in Aladdin, but to see him regard the other _magi_ … no, the other _magi_ 's power… is almost revealing.

"…Hey, look! Your sister is there, Hakuryuu. Are you fine with just watching here and not rushing over to her side?"

Judar's tone is that one where he makes Hakuryuu doubt himself.

But Hakuryuu's already made up his mind. He's decided to take this path, even if it diverges wildly from his sister's, from Aladdin's, from Morgiana's, from Alibaba's.

"We didn't come here for that reason."

Hakuryuu keeps his eyes focused on the scene they're witnessing – the result of Al Thamen's experiments with human lives and their emotions.

"…Yeah, you're right."

Hakuryuu carefully doesn't look at Judar's expression, even if he can sense the other looking straight at him.

Eventually, the mass of black disperses and scatters upwards—right into Judar's waiting hands.

"Alright! Hmph, really, the only one who can use this power properly is a _magi_ who has fallen into depravity after all…"

All that black _rukh_ , all that darkness, all that power… compressed right into Judar's hands.

Hakuryuu wonders if he should somehow be wary of the person beside him, but that doesn't matter at all, does it?

"Haa, let's go, Hakuryuu! We've finished our business here."

"…Yeah."

Hakuryuu knows that this is final chance to see his sister and his friends, before everything happens.

"Aladdin… Morgiana… Alibaba… I have turned my back to the path you've chosen after all… I'm sorry."

Judar is already drawing the lines of his newly-learned transfer circle behind him.

"…Farewell."

It's time to fulfill his duty as the legitimate heir of the Kou Empire—by killing the usurpers that have stolen everything from him.

•••

_It’s nothing logical… we exist… therefore we should be "free"!_

**••• part 06 [end]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Chapter Notes:**
> 
> • Title is from the Magi OST Track #24 (it's the one that plays when Hakuryuu goes against Gyokuen in S2EP12)  
> • Song lyrics is from Die Flügel der Freiheit (The Wings of Freedom) © Shingeki no Kyojin OST.
> 
> • **Tsundere Hakuryuu** LOL  
>  • Hakuryuu's at Rakushou during the fight with the medium (he isn't out on Hakuei's base) (chapter 242)  
> • I think that they had lots of interactions during the 6 month timeskip, because Hakuryuu's in the castle instead of being w/Hakuei and he seems confident to approach Judar (so he must be sure that Judar wouldn't retract his offer) ??? Also, that Hakuryuu has more or less decided to get Judar's help earlier on, but he waits to act when he knows everyone will be far away (c/o Kouen trying to contact him) and Gyokuen will be busy (e.g. the fight with the medium).  
> • Hakuryuu says that he's born right before the Kou Empire was founded (chapter 242). I took… liberties with it LOL


	7. the kingdom of none

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chelsea!!! ❤ it's done!!!!! it's also almost a week in advance LOL i had a lot of fun writing this fic! and i don't think i've thanked you enough, so. THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU. for chatting/rambling with me. for sharing all these juhakus. for giving me the perfect excuse to write a loooooong fic of juhaku shenanigans (LOL). hope your day, your week and your upcoming birthday all become awesome! :D

••• **07 – King and his Magi – the kingdom of none**

_We can't go back to the past  
But we don't regret anything_

•••

"...so you'll give me this dungeon?"  
  
"You _are_ my _king_ ," Judar tells him as he waves his wand towards an abandoned island, speaking so casually as though he's not about to show him a display of extravagant power that's not bestowed upon just anyone, "so of course I'll make you strong."

Despite the carefree actions and light words, Hakuryuu knows that there's an underlying threat there. Judar has never taken rejection well, even with the years of practice he has received from Hakuryuu's ministrations. Judar has been calling him his king ever since they first met – something that he has stopped doing so after weeks of scolding from the organization's priests, something that he has rarely brought up ever since Hakuryuu has protested about not being meant for such a grandiose position.

Even now, Hakuryuu doesn't believe he can be king.

He shouldn't become king.

Someone like him who only relies on others' powers, someone like him who isn't understood completely by anyone, someone like him who's abandoned by everything, someone like him isn't fit to be king.

He only wishes to make sure that the witch doesn't _live_.

His brothers would want him to take back the Kou Empire. His sister would want a world without such evil. He would want to erase the cause of evil in their empire.

Judar wants… something else.

He tells him that he wants him to be king, but Hakuryuu can sense that there's something else there. He's only a little bit bothered, because there's a huge possibility that Judar asking him to go capture a dungeon together and him declaring that he wants to lend a hand to Hakuryuu are all just an order from the organization, and therefore that witch. It's a possibility that disheartens him only the slightest bit, because he _knows_ it can happen.

He's not scared to be left alone.

He's always been left alone anyway.

Even if Judar ends up abandoning him for the dead inside this dungeon that he's summoning… he can get out and complete his mission. He can capture the _djinn_. A magi like Judar can't be a metal vessel user, after all. It's only him who can clear this dungeon. Even if this is an ambush, he will succeed.

There's no other way but to move forward in this path.

"…I also obtained an interesting power before coming here…"

Judar says things so carelessly as though he has accomplished something so easy when it isn't. Hakuryuu's never seen so much black _rukh_ and so much power that it required the combination of many metal vessel users' attacks. For Judar to be able to snatch that power and compress it and swallow it inside his body is nothing short of amazing.

Though he has no plans of admitting that to the other.

"…Did you also finish saying your _goodbyes_?"

Hakuryuu frowns as he digests Judar's words. The other's tone is deliberately blank, even if Hakuryuu knows that there's usually derision there. Judar has never hidden his distaste for others, after all. 

He thinks of his sister, of Morgiana, of Aladdin, of Alibaba – of the peace he could have had if the world is without evil. 

"…Yeah." 

He's been forced to say goodbye to that peace long ago. 

He just has one last thing that he'd like to confirm, even if he won't really believe the answer. 

"…I want to ask you one last thing." 

After all, with how they were able to suppress his memories, tame it with some sort of magic that blurred his mind and goals for many years, it's very likely that they're able to do with others too. It's possible that the Judar who pestered him around is just being controlled by their magic. 

"Eeeeh~?! What is it now?!" Judar's expression looks naturally childish, a bit put off at the thought of being questioned, therefore delaying their entrance to the imposing dungeon that has risen out of practically thin air. 

If he didn't know any better, he'd say that Judar almost looks wary that he'll change his mind and walk away from this dungeon. 

…not just wary, scared by the possibility, even. 

But that's not possible. 

But if this is just an order from the organization… well, Judar has never tried to hide his distaste for following orders. So it shouldn't matter to him if he doesn't accomplish this mission of luring Hakuryuu inside. It shouldn't, unless— 

"…Why are you working with me?" 

Unless this is what he really wants. 

But he doesn't want to work with stronger, smarter, more influential people like Kouen or Koumei… so why is he so interested in working with him? 

Hakuryuu's asked something like this before, but he didn't truly want to hear the answer then. 

But now… 

And just like that, the natural childish expression disappears, Judar's face wiped clean of any wariness or hesitation. Before he even speaks, Hakuryuu can already sense the voice that he's going to use – the one that's always never failed to make him doubt himself. 

"…Well… That's because…" Judar then suddenly grins, as though he's so close in finally obtaining that _secret_ that has eluded him for so long. There's daylight, but Judar steps in close to him, the wide grin pasted upon his lips. His hand is cool and heavy against his shoulder. "…You're the _only one_ who has exactly the same thing as me." 

"…Exactly the same thing…?" Hakuryuu questions, but Judar is already walking towards the dungeon's entrance, his aura charged with tense excitement. The grin is still playing on his face. 

Hakuryuu frowns.

He's not _the same_ as Judar! 

This is the guy who doesn't mind being used by that witch. This is the guy who can't even spell his own name properly most of the time. This is the guy who delights in causing chaos and strife.

He can't stand having anything similar with him. 

But the power of the dungeon in front of him beckons him to come closer. It's a power that he can use to fulfill his objective. 

So, for the sake of his goals, he will use Judar's power. 

He closes his eyes to force his expression to become more controlled, as he falls into step with Judar, entering the dungeon. 

He bumps elbows with Judar just as they are engulfed with the light similar to Zagan's, his hand quickly brushing by Judar's pants so he can plant the _Netsumegusa_ seedling there. Should Judar leave him behind, he'll conquer this dungeon and hunt him down, after all. 

Judar doesn't notice – or if he did, he doesn't comment on it – his movements. 

There's a sinking feeling in his gut that Judar really is doing this out of his own accord, but then— 

Hakuryuu lets Belial's light wash over him. 

He can think about all of that later. 

••• 

_"I heard those geezers talking about fate and stuff—I think it's called 'fate' that I found you early, huh? It's also 'fate' that the guy died, I think, but it doesn't matter! Oh, will you feed me peaches then? Hakuryuu…?"_

…Judar used to tell him about fate, didn't he?

It's foolish of him to brush off those words from long before.

If this is his fate, if this is _their_ fate, then—

If they will just tell him that it's his fate that's the cause of all these hardships, if they will just tell him to believe that everything will be alright because it's fated to happen, even if he's always been slighted for the past ten years, if they will just tell him to live his life along with the flow, if they will just tell him to let himself be betrayed, then—

If everyone will tell him that this is the role he has to fulfill in destiny's flow, then—

If this is the so-called right path that he should follow, then—

If his fate is to just be taken advantage of, be abandoned, be betrayed, be cursed, and be pushed off the cliff of despair—

_"But if… you ever decide to curse your 'fate'… I will take you by the hand!"_

—Judar will take him by the hand should he curse this fate.

And just like that, he finally understands that Judar certainly isn't doing this as per that witch's orders.

It was foolish of him to ignore this feeling deep inside him.

"…Stop fucking with me… even if I know that this is the right path…"

Who cares about this one right path?

"Like hell I can continue living, with this _thing_ inside of me! I can't live like this! I can't move forward!"

Who decided that this is just the one path that he can take?

"If this world rejects us, then…"

Who established this unfair fate that gave them no choice but to bow their heads to it?

"…We will destroy this world and create it anew!"

Ah… he can see black specks everywhere.

Is this his _rukh_ now?

Is this Judar's?

Is this the result of both of their feelings rebelling against this screwed-up destiny of theirs?

Hakuryuu looks at the illusion of his sister… holding onto him so tightly as though she even cares if he lets go. She doesn't really care about him, does she? She's satisfied with her life as the first imperial princess, turning a blind eye against the wrongdoings of that witch, of Kouen, of the entire world. She's content to just follow this fate of theirs.

"Stop, Hakuryuu! Come back! Don't go to the other side!" Her arms wrap tighter around him. "Come to my side… and let's be together again!"

…Even if she doesn't want to listen to him.

…Even if she'd rather run far away from him than to listen to him.

…Even if she doesn't understand him and doesn't want to understand him.

"Heyyy, Hakuryuu." Judar's voice is rough – from screaming, probably. There's an emotion there that he can't outright ignore – _emotions_ , rather. He's excited, angered, and worried. Hakuryuu _knows_. He's probably already known for a long time. "What will you choose now? How do you want to live from now on?"

This is probably the real reason as to why Judar has always called him his king.

While it's impossible for him to trust anyone completely anymore, this is enough.

"Answer me!" Judar's hysterics really need to be toned down though. Doesn't he notice that his wish is finally realized? Isn't it obvious? " _Hakuryuu_!"

But then again, subtlety has never been Judar's forte.

"…Don't yell, Judar."

He grips his spear tight in one hand, pushing his sister away.

"That should already be clear."

There's probably nobody else who knows The Organization's way of doing things and there's possibility nobody else who has been controlled by them this way.

It's inevitable, in a way.

With a deep breath, he slices into his sister, feeling nothing but satisfaction at seeing blood bubble out of her mouth. This is merely an illusion, but the pain he can feel from his wounds is real. Conversely, the clarity that resonates from deep within him is also real.

"…Goodbye, sister."

He turns to the useless illusion of Morgiana, slashing her as well.

He feels nothing but an explosion of satisfaction at finally understanding the suffocating feeling that resonates from deep within him whenever he interacts with Judar. This is their hatred against the world crying out for someone else who understands.

He's foolish for disregarding this for so long. 

"I will kill the real you sooner or later, Morgiana." How could he have thought that this person would be by his side? That this person would understand his feelings of being abandoned by his entire family? That this person would support him? "You are nothing more than garbage, just like your master, Alibaba. You just follow his hypocrisy blindly…"

Haa, he's really foolish, isn't he?

Hakuryuu feels laughter bubbling out of his mouth, liberation coursing through his veins.

Ah, it's good to finally understand and accept all of this.

So this is why he's always felt separated from everyone. So this is why he never really fit properly within the other's light. So this is why.

Judar doesn't say anything, but his usually cool aura now feels unbelievably warm, almost scalding in its intensity. No doubt Judar is looking at him smugly, proudly. No, he'll be so childish, so he's probably giddily grinning.

Hakuryuu would be sorrier that he didn't agree with Judar earlier, but he doesn't turn around.

They still have a long way ahead of them, after all.

Belial's dungeon is crumbling, probably in an effort to trap the two of them here so they can't obtain the metal vessel.

It's laughable.

Hakuryuu activates Zagan's Djinn Equip to ready himself for Belial fighting back.

"You chose your self-interests and became a black king vessel. I will not give the metal vessel to you!" The djinn proclaims, as though he has a choice against them. This is one more entity that doesn't understand the horror of bowing down to a fate like theirs. He should just _disappear_.

"Your will is not important."

Now that he has a powerful ally—

"That's right," Judar chimes in from his side, grinning still. "We're _taking_ it from you."

A black staff has materialized in Judar's hands, transforming his staff into something more sinister.

"Now, submit yourself to _my king_!" Judar's overwhelmingly black rukh bursts forth, almost like a net entrapping the _djinn_. "Belial!"

Judar's aura grows warmer, scorching as the staff lengthens and gains a sharp end, judgment pointed at the _djinn_ who will surrender to them.

Just like in Magnostadt, the black rukh in front of them seems to gravitate back to Judar's hands, power compressed in the tiny space. It's just that this time, the black rukh reins in the djinn as well. It's just that this time, the tiny magic circle is transferred from Judar's palm to Hakuryuu's shoulder armor, the only metallic vessel that Judar can reach at their position.

Hakuryuu hears a ghost of a scream, but he ignores Belial in favor of falling towards the exit of the dungeon along with Judar.

He's been avoiding looking directly at Judar, because he thinks that he's probably going to get blinded by how happy Judar would look.

And sure enough—

"Hakuryuu!"

Ever since he got scolded for always addressing him as a 'king', Judar's always used his name, after all.

Hakuryuu turns slightly so he can face Judar.

True enough, there's a happy expression that can only be brought upon by the thought of finding a true comrade-in-arms.

"You _finally_ came to my side!" There's no doubt that Judar has been waiting for this moment for a very long time. Maybe not just for the past six months, even. "It's so _boring_ to fight alone. So I will make you into a _king_!"

Judar's grin whenever he promises war and chaos is gone. There's something softer, but more powerful in his expression now. This is confidence—no, rather, this is _pride_.

But Hakuryuu isn't fit to be a king.

However…

"It's not like I _want_ to be a king or something. We will kill _that woman_ first." But after that, the empire will lose its ruler. And surely, Kouen will not let that slide. So. "But if I have to be king as a result of that, then it's fine with me."

He's a fool for not following his buried feelings of hatred before.

But not anymore.

And even if he can't completely trust Judar yet – maybe ever… this is the person who has granted him an additional power, who will continue to aid him. "I'll follow your lead."

Judar smiles brightly, looking like the world has finally been laid out to him as a gift.

Soon.

Hakuryuu smiles back, preparing himself for the djinn's dungeon flinging the two of them out.

This is just the beginning.

•••

"…Judar?"

Hakuryuu almost takes that word back, because it doesn't bode well if his first words after being flung out of a dungeon to be that guy's name. It's not because he doesn't trust him completely (he _doesn't_ ) but more like, he refuses to make Judar happier than he should be.

Thankfully, it seems that Judar is not in the vicinity.

The time it took them to get out of Belial isn't particularly long, but it was enough for them to have time to talk about how Al Thamen has ruined Judar's life since birth.

There's still something that Hakuryuu thinks he's missing, like Judar is still hiding something from him. He lets it be, because it's unlikely that Judar is hiding that out of spite.

He remembers how Judar has always clung to him and proclaimed him a king. He remembers Judar's words about them having the exact same thing.

He remembers planting that seedling on Judar's pants just before they entered Belial.

Hakuryuu looks around at where he landed. It doesn't seem familiar. There are trees everywhere, so he could be anywhere in the mountain forests forming the border of the Kou Empire. While Judar used his own power to force an exit for the two of them, it seems that exiting the dungeon still caused them to be separated.

Oh well.

It's not like he wants to keep this a secret from the other.

He activates Zagan, stimulating the growth of the _Netsumegusa_ 's roots so that it will link him with Judar's location. He commands the roots to drag Judar to where he is – because Judar already knows the color of the _rukh_ when Zagan's magic is involved. The roots writhe and pull, and it doesn't take long until Hakuryuu senses Judar's presence.

"Hey~! Hakuryuu~!"

The small animals in the forest clearing scuttle away at the sound of Judar's excited yelling. Hakuryuu sighs, thinking about how he's bound to hear more of this in the future.

"Aaaah, I'm glad we didn't end up too far away from each other when we got out of the dungeon, Hakuryuu!" Judar exclaims cheerfully, not seeming to mind the roots that have wrapped themselves around him tight enough to drag him here.

It is true that they didn't end up separated by a huge margin, because it only took a few minutes for his plants to locate him.

"I can find you easily, even if we're separated," Hakuryuu gestures to the roots that are wrapped all over Judar's body, "thanks to this guy."

Judar pouts at his less-than-enthusiastic greeting, before he actually focuses on the plant that is wrapped around him. He looks a bit disgruntled, as though he hasn't noticed that he was actually dragged over the forest trees, as though he has immediately acquiesced to being enveloped by the strange power, just because the _rukh_ felt like it came from him.

Hakuryuu averts his eyes as Judar starts tugging himself free from the plants.

"…we kill Gyokuen now?" 

He smiles at the excitement in Judar's voice. How typical of him to think that just because they got a power upgrade, that they'll be able to storm in without any preparations. 

"No, not yet." 

Judar walks on ahead, but then he immediately turns around in childish indignation. "Ehhhh, what?!" 

"Are you really going to attack the country just like this?" 

Hakuryuu keeps the disappointment out of his tone. Judar is prone to throwing tantrums when things don't go his way, after all. He'd rather not have to deal with the other's sulking and just have him focused on the goal. 

"You thought of ways to kill all of the guys in Al Thamen, after you learned of what happened when you were born, right?" Hakuryuu uses the name of the organization that Judar has told him about. An eight-pointed star… he wonders if there's a significance of such a name. "But you still can't do that, huh?"

The sulky expression goes away as Judar looks at him, considering. He doesn't look the slightest bit offended – which is usually what happens when someone even hints at the fact that he's not strong enough.

The sun blazes brightly above them, as Judar talks about how strong his witch of a mother is. The veiled magicians that follow Gyokuen around… there should be a trick that they can use to overcome that information network.

"…They're probably keeping an eye on us, even now." Judar's tone changes, nothing so obvious, but to Hakuryuu who has heard this person's voice for more than years, it's impossible not to detect anything. He looks at the way Judar angles his head slightly upward, eyes a dull red.

…Hm. Well. If that's the case…

"Exactly." Hakuryuu aligns his spear and moves his right hand to manipulate the space in front of him to form a small bow made of Zagan's magic. "That's why…"

He then quickly aims the needle-like arrow towards the two veiled priests observing them from above, the line of air pierced by the arrow growing exponentially as the microbes and fungi in the atmosphere are stimulated by Zagan's magic.

He doesn't give the spying priests time to recover, as the arrow pierces both of them with his creatures.

"Eh?! What the?!" Judar sounds impressed by the garish-looking organisms.

While he does remember saying that he'll follow Judar's lead… they're not going to succeed if Judar takes charge with his charged enthusiasm at attacking the capital.

" _We_ have to hone _our_ new powers somewhere far away from their prying eyes before returning to _our_ country."

…Oh no.

Unlike earlier, Hakuryuu not being able to take those words back surely has a consequence now.

True enough—

Judar whips around, happiness on his face upon hearing his words, "Hakuryuu~!"

Hakuryuu schools his expression to something more stoic as he resists the urge to sigh again. "We need to find out where we are, as well as prepare ourselves for the battle we'll fight."

He looks pointedly at the still-bleeding wound on Judar's torso.

Judar simply grins sheepishly, rubbing the back of his head.

"…As you wish, my king," Judar says cheekily, before summoning ice magic strong enough to encase their two captives in an ice cage, but not too strong as to actually crush them and make them turn into dolls.

There's still so much that they need to do, but Hakuryuu can feel everything starting to fall into place.

It's only a matter of time.

•••

"…did you manage to find out where we are?"

Honestly, Hakuryuu doesn't hold out much hope for Judar being great with geography. Then again, it's not like he's also good with locations outside of Rakushou, because he hasn't had a lot of time outside the palace itself.

"Nah, all I could see for the next couple of kilometers are just trees, trees and more trees." Judar floats to where he is, his shadows cast from the bonfire that Hakuryuu made makes him darker than the night sky behind him. "This is it, Hakuryuu. Your dream to be in the mountains and surrounded by trees! Aren't you excited?!"

Hakuryuu rolls his eyes. "We're not here to play around."

"I knoooow." Judar rolls his shoulders. He goes to where the ice cage is for their captives, knocking on the surface and grinning at how the two don't even twitch. "Man, why don't you just let me _transfer_ us to more familiar grounds?"

"We need to limit your use of the transfer magic."

Because there might still be some other veiled priests watching over them.

Because he doesn't want to display their power unnecessarily.

Because Judar still gets tired after using that and it won't do for him to suddenly be caught at a bad time. 

Judar is already smiling at his apparent consideration for his tiredness, so Hakuryuu hurriedly clarifies. 

"…because there might be spies at where we'll land. We still need to prepare." Judar is still smiling like he doesn't believe Hakuryuu's disclosed reasons. It's very cheeky of him, but that's to be expected. "Also, you can live a day or two without peaches and luxurious beds." 

Judar rubs the back of his neck with his right hand, walking over to where he is, stopping only until his bare feet are just an inch away from his boots. "I was thinking more about your wounds. You can't fight with all these wounds already on your person, you know."

He definitely can.

But he can see Judar's point, even if he didn't expect it.

Hakuryuu turns, side-stepping Judar so that his conflicted expression isn't revealed.

It's just… strange to have someone think of him first.

His family never thought of him above anyone else, his sister has never prioritized him, Morgiana, Aladdin and Alibaba all had their own paths that they think of… it's a strange feeling to have someone think of his sake without direct prompting. And the suffocating feeling bubbles inside his chest, reminding him of their days from a long time ago, when Judar hasn't been forcibly sent tumbling down to depravity. 

He can't return this _favor_.

He cannot prioritize anything else above from his goal to kill that witch.

He angles his face so he can look at Judar, even from just his peripheral vision, and sees the other's eyes gaze straight at him. 

He may never be able to return this favor, but he can still do something. 

With that in mind, Hakuryuu awakens Zagan and takes out two seeds from the pouch from the inside of his torn robe. He hopes that Judar's reaction will be easy to contain, as he summons the power to accelerate the growth of the peach tree that's now on the ground, growing and growing until it's of sufficient height, easily blending in the forest. He then focuses Zagan's power to the other plant, iron tree, so he can use its extracts to accelerate the healing of his wounds. 

"Ah, I thought we should limit the use of our powers?" Judar asks, voice deliberately coy. He's grinning in happiness as he floats to where the peaches are, quickly biting on the first fruit that he acquires, as though eager to taste the fruit of accelerated growth. "And how is that tree gonna help you heal?" 

"The bark's extracts can be applied to the wounds." Hakuryuu glares at the _one_ reddish-pink line on Judar's torso. There's only one wound on him, which means that he pretty much said the truth for the time that they were in Belial. To think that Judar would actually be very honest… "You should apply some to your wound too." 

Judar's eyes shine brighter than the rubies that he has seen when they were at Sindria.

"…I can't see my wounds properly." Judar says softly, obviously lying, obviously _testing_. "Will you help me with that, Hakuryuu?" 

Hakuryuu _can_ reject Judar still.

He can feel it, knows that Judar will not push the issue once he sets his boundaries.

Judar, who just takes what he wants, is actually asking for permission.

It's a whole new world of strangeness.

Just like nobody has ever prioritized him, nobody has _asked_ him for his attention to.

The Judar from their youth took and took and took because that was his _right_ as the country's important oracle.

Now…

"…you're so useless, Judar."

He slices off the trunk of the iron tree, scraps of the bark landing near his feet. He focuses his gaze on the strips of brown wood, before placing them over the bonfire, extracts bubbling after a few minutes of heat.

Hakuryuu hears Judar's footsteps, the swish of the long braid against the still air and the uneven ground. Hakuryuu rubs his right hand against heated extract, before splaying his fingers against the line starting from Judar's right hip. He presses against the skin, Zagan activated still so that he doesn't run out of the extract. The shadows that they cast are long and intertwined, as Hakuryuu stands taller than the slouched Judar, as Hakuryuu doesn't spare any gentleness as he swipes across Judar's skin briskly, his fingers dipping along the muscle definition, his hand growing stickier with the herbal extract. He doesn't watch Judar's expression, because he's focusing on applying the extract properly, but he just _knows_ that Judar is looking at him with some sort of wonder, probably not expecting him to agree to _this_.

"I studied the transfer magic while waiting for your answer, you know." Judar says to break the silence, no, this is more like gentle ripples of sound against the atmosphere. "Also, I think we can change the South Wing to become a _huuuuuge_ library?"

The South Wing… the unofficial base of Al Thamen.

Changing that to a library means that they'll be getting rid of the entire organization.

…Heh. As expected of Judar.

"You can have the entire East Wing to yourself," Hakuryuu replies, to indulge Judar in his planning of how to allocate the rooms in Rakushou.

Judar grins, razor-sharp, as he realizes that he'll have Kouen's domain… which means that they'll be getting rid of Kouen too.

"Ah, that's all done!" Judar then exclaims as soon as Hakuryuu's fingers reach the other end of the wound, just shy of the other's heart. He stretches out a hand, looking at Hakuryuu expectantly. "Now it's your turn!"

Hakuryuu sighs as he starts removing his torn robe, inwardly grimacing at its dirtied state. He passed by a stream earlier, so he's going to wash the bloodstains off this before they head out. He only hesitates for a moment before he removes all of his upper garments. After all, it's not like Judar hasn't ever seen his scars from the fire.

Judar motions for him to sit down, something that Hakuryuu only does because Judar's eyes are shining with undeniable _pride_.

Nobody has ever looked at him with that kind of emotion before.

It's unsettling.

Thanks to Zagan's powers, the extract doesn't run out even when Judar liberally rubs at the bark to get more of the medicine than strictly necessary.

Judar kneels in front of him, before reverently rubbing the medicine between his hands to make it warmer. He then touches Hakuryuu's skin with so much gentleness it almost _hurts_ , almost as though Hakuryuu will disappear if he uses more force.

It's been a very long time since someone has touched his skin with this much kindness, without any ill intent.

It's more than just a little unsettling.

It's very easy to get lost in the depths of Judar's gaze. Hakuryuu can almost forget that they're in some unknown, secluded location, that they're just surrounded by trees and wildlife, that they're about to embark in a revolution that will very likely rob them of their lives eventually, that they're together now only because of the years of hardships they have protested against but had no choice but to endure.

He can almost forget that this is just a fleeting moment of gentleness.

Hakuryuu's hands slowly inch towards Judar's hair, finding purchase in the locks that the other takes so much pride in. Judar crawls even slower into his personal space, their noses almost bumping as Judar's eyes remain locked with his, while his hands busy themselves with butterfly-like fluttering against his wounds on his stomach, on his chest, on his neck. Judar's skin feels warmer now, none of the inherent coldness that he once possessed, almost feverish. Even his breath is warm and moist against Hakuryuu's lips.

"…Hakuryuu." Judar says his name, almost like a prayer. Repeats it like way back then, when he doesn't want to say or write anything else. Like it's just the two of them in this entire wretched world. "Hakuryuu…"

He's asking for permission.

The Judar who just takes what he wants, is asking for his permission.

He's giving himself the opportunity to be willfully rejected.

He's changing, right in front of his eyes.

Or maybe he's always been like this and it's only now that Hakuryuu noticed.

Hakuryuu closes the tiny gap between them, pressing their lips together in a kiss that's not new to the two of them. But this is the first time they've kissed with Hakuryuu finally knowing and understanding the depths of Judar's anger, the depths of their similarities, the depths of their despair at the world. Hakuryuu easily angles his face so that their noses will not bump awkwardly, with the ease of doing this for _years_ , with the curious wonder of unfolding unchartered territories.

Judar's hands continue moving in gentle caresses, spreading the sticky herbal extract, while his fingertips explored the mix of his scars and skin.

"Hakuryuu…"

Judar continues saying his name over and over again, as though it's up to him to release themselves from all of these pent-up emotions.

It's almost too easy to forget that they still have a long way ahead of them.

"…Judar," Hakuryuu says, voice roughened from the long minutes of kissing until their lungs protest from the lack of proper respiration. Judar stops rubbing himself against him automatically, though not without the sulky pout on his face at the interruption. "We have lots of things to do."

Judar groans, fingers twitching against Hakuryuu's sides. He then rests his feverish forehead against Hakuryuu's left shoulder, breathing wetly against Hakuryuu's scars there.

"…ugh, okay." Judar finally says, obviously unhappy with being stopped.

Hakuryuu sighs deeply, his chest heaving with the movement, before he lets his hands fall away from their grip on Judar's hair.

"The sooner we can kill that witch, the sooner you can make me to a king," Hakuryuu reminds Judar, whispering the words that are unheard by the frozen puppet priests behind them. "Or are you not up for that anymore?"

Judar chortles against his shoulder, before he pushes himself up to a standing position, reaching out a hand for Hakuryuu to grab.

"Of course I'm gonna make you to a king!" Judar winces as he looks down in dismay at his sticky stomach. "Don't you ever doubt that, Hakuryuu!"

Hakuryuu rolls his eyes for the nth time, tearing some of the fabric from his robe so it can be his makeshift bandage instead. He hands over the fabric strips to Judar's waiting hands and he stands close, nudging for the other to get on with bandaging his chest.

Surprisingly, he doesn't doubt Judar's words.

•••

"…The time to attack the capital has finally come!"

 _Finally._

It took nearly three weeks of preparation, not to count the _years_ of which he had spent cursing his own foolishness, helplessness, powerlessness.

Three weeks of experimenting on soldiers that they have captured, of hearing Judar praise him all over the place as though to reassure him that he's his first and final choice for being a king, of motivating Judar to learn different sorts of magic that will prove useful in their revolution. It hasn't been easy, especially with Judar being so tense with anticipation, especially with Judar groaning in pain every night as he wrestles more knowledge against Magnostadt's magician that has fallen into depravity as well.

It hasn't been an easy life.

But they're now both ready.

He quells Judar's concerns about letting the two captured puppets go.

Judar doesn't push the issue, probably already knowing that he'll explain later anyway. 

Hakuryuu marches forward, knowing Judar will follow, along with the war force that he has assembled. 

Finally… even if it took so much time… 

No matter how much he thought of killing that woman, over and over again, he couldn't do so. He lacked the power, power more than his fallen brothers possessed… failing, over and over again… 

His footsteps are heavy and final. 

It's different now. 

He finally has more power. 

He finally has a plan. 

He finally has a strong ally – someone who lends him power and understands his circumstances at the same time. 

He can finally kill that woman! 

—!!!

He _feels_ , rather than hears, the crack inside his head.

"Urgh!" Hakuryuu loses balance, feeling his vision swim and his eardrums pop. It's as though someone has taken a shovel and dug his mind out. His tongue is heavy and his throat is closed and he can't breathe, he can't think, he can't—

He knows he has lost his grip of his spear and all he can do is clutch at his head in pain, his hands wrapped around his head in a futile effort to stop the feeling of chains unfurling out of his temples.

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts—

And what hurts the most is that he can feel his anger being eaten away—

"What's wrong, Hakuryuu?!" Judar yells in horrified concern, which just makes Hakuryuu's temples hurt even more. It's painful to hear that amount of worry from someone else. It hurts to feel Judar's aura of anger, paling only in comparison to the pain that he feels at having his soul ripped out of himself.

The angry voice of Judar and the flat voice of the _djinn_ , Phenex, clash and mix into a blur of static.

There's pain everywhere.

[ _Give up your wrath and put down your sword_. ]

[ _Give up your wrath._ ]

[ _Give up_. ]

His head hurts, almost as though there are rusted chains coiling around his mind and crushing every single bit of conviction and hatred that he has. Dimly, he feels Judar's arms wrapped around him, cradling him, but that rugged gentleness only highlights the pain even more. Judar's hands are trembling around him, holding onto him despite his thrashing.

The chains around his mind.

The steel barriers on their windows.

The wretched hands that shaped their lives.

[ _Give up._ ]

[ _Give up your wrath._ ]

[ _Give up your wrath and put down your sword_. ]

He's not going to keep giving into this fate.

He pushes Judar away, his own trembling hands reaching for his sword despite losing balance and losing sight.

[ _Give up your wrath_. ]

After losing sight of his real reason to live for ten years, he's not going to give it up – not now – not _ever_.

"…give up my wrath…?" He asks the space in front of him, as he stabs himself to focus his senses on the pain instead of getting his anger aligned into threads that can easily be snapped by that meddlesome djinn planted to him by that traitor Kouen. "Don't fucking start with me… this… my wrath is the only path I can follow to live…!!!"

He cannot be stopped here – not when he still has so many things to do, not when he's spent years for this moment.

"You will never hold me down with these chains of deception, Kouen!"

Hakuryuu feels the chains wrapped around him crumble a little bit, but it's not enough, he knows. He's already released their prisoners and he needs to attack that witch soon before she notices the modifications he did on them. He needs to be able to move forward, sealing magic or not.

Judar got a bit quiet though.

He can't see anything yet, aside from chains and a blinding sort of light, but he can sense Judar's aura become a little calmer.

"Hakuryuu! I'm gonna go ahead to Rakushou! Gotta do some preparations, you see."

—Huh?! That idiot, what is he doing?!

"Don't worry, I'm bringing you and your soldiers there later, so just wait for me!"

—wait for—?!

He feels the swish of Judar's staff, slicing against the thin air, feels the opening of the magic that's now regrettably familiar to him.

Teleportation magic.

Judar is leaving him behind, isn't he?

He's leaving him behind because he hasn't been able to release himself from this djinn's magic.

He's leaving him behind because they're not the same anymore without that hatred.

He's leaving him behind—

He doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care.

He's going to get through this.

He's going to grab all of his anger back.

He's going to win against this magic, against that witch, against the world.

It hurts it hurts it hurts.

It shouldn't hurt because this isn't the first time someone had forced him to let go of his anger.

It shouldn't hurt because he's been expecting to be left him behind anyway.

It shouldn't hurt because he's been through worse.

He doesn't care he doesn't care he doesn't care.

The soldiers behind him don't move towards him.

The soldiers behind him don't care about him.

The soldiers behind him don't _understand_.

He's not going to give up not going to give in not going to give up.

He's not—

"—Hakuryuu!"

The tell-tale crackling of the air that's forcibly opened by the teleportation magic prickles at his skin, clearing his vision a little bit as the light of magic envelopes him and his soldiers.

The next thing he knows is that Rakushou is right underneath him, flabbergasted soldiers pointing up at him and his invasion forces.

His head still hurts, but not as much as before.

"Hey! You're finally here, Hakuryuu!"

…he didn't leave him behind.

…he came back for him, just as he said he would.

…the two of them are here, in Rakushou, ready to fight against their fate.

"Judar… what the hell did you do?!" Hakuryuu's still not happy with this turn of events though. He has a _plan_ that they need to follow so they'll win! What the hell did Judar do?! If he learns that he just went ahead and screwed around while he's left behind trying to piece together his thoughts… "Going on your own… without asking me first?!"

Judar has the nerve to laugh at him, waving a hand as though he can just ignore that transgression just like that.

"Maa, maa, don't worry so much!" Judar's boyish grin is almost innocent, which just makes Hakuryuu frown even more. "Why don't you just trust me? I did what you asked, after all!"

…Oh. So that means—

"Long range clairvoyance magic!"

So he really did his best to learn that huh?

… _finally_ , the time has come.

•••  
•••  
•••

"…what the hell are you doing, Judar?"

Hakuryuu wakes up to the sounds of Judar's grunting and basically flailing around with his sword. He blearily opens his eyes just in time to see Judar do an exceptionally bad form that leaves him open to other attacks. It doesn't seem like he's been doing it for a long while, but Hakuryuu can already see the beads of sweat forming on Judar's forehead.

"Good morning, Hakuryuu!" Judar greets him as though nothing is outside of ordinary today. The Summit is due to happen later and Judar _should_ be preparing for a long jump to the island in the middle of Magnostadt and Reim, but here he is instead, making a nuisance of himself inside the emperor's bed chambers. "Ah, I'm _trying_ to do some training!"

"You're really weak after all," Hakuryuu muses out loud, rubbing the sleep away from his eyes.

While there are still so many things they need to prepare for their fight against the world, waking up to a scene like this isn't too bad. Sunlight easily filters into his room, the wide window unblocked by any steel bars.

"You're so cheeky, even this early in the morning," Judar complains half-heartedly, walking towards him and placing the spear right beside Hakuryuu.

Hakuryuu raises an eyebrow at the obviously spent Judar. "What are you even trying to do?"

"Hey, don't look at me like that! It's not like I neglected the magic studies, you know!" Judar says almost defensively, even as he flops back into his _spot_ beside Hakuryuu's. His braid is loose and messed up, an obvious result of not bothering to braid it properly so early in the morning. "Plus, I figured that I need to be stronger so I can also fight while inside the barrier."

The goal to become someone that can surpass Gyokuen – a magician who's even stronger as a swordsman – is left unsaid.

Hakuryuu smiles slightly, even as he reaches down and pinches at Judar's cheeks. "You should be preparing for the Summit."

Judar's eyes are wide, and for a moment, Hakuryuu is lost until he realizes that the _borg_ didn't lift up to prevent his hand from successfully pinching. It definitely means something, because Judar has told him that his _borg_ only reacts automatically if there's an intent to _hurt_.

Does this mean that he's started to trust Judar more?

Hakuryuu twists his hands so that his pinch hurts more.

"Heyyyy~~"

Judar complains but doesn't move away.

Hakuryuu tilts his head so that he's watching the sunrise instead.

If this is what it means to have a _magi_ all to himself…  
  
All this magic, all this power, all this dedication...

They're definitely going to win.

•••  
•••  
••• 

"…So that's the truth of this world, huh."

Judar looks at him as though he's expecting him to say something else. Hakuryuu ignores that look as he disrobes, folding his clothes properly, systematically, as he prepares to go to bed.

With Judar's very enthusiastic way of declaring war against the entire world, it's not going to be surprising if there are some assassins that would sneak in and attack them in the night. It's not surprising, though he doubts it will happen. His enemies aren't the type to make a hasty move while the rest of the onlookers are going to wait and see him prove himself before they make a decision to support any of the sides.

"Man, if we knew that the old crone was so good with sword-fighting, we could have prepared better soldiers, huh?" Judar muses out loud when Hakuryuu isn't forthcoming with more words.

That's true.

The fight could have been a lot easier if he knew the things that Aladdin had shown in the Summit.

But then again, he's already _successful_ in killing the witch, so there's no point dwelling on the what-ifs.

…but then again, is Judar having second thoughts now?

After all, he can just as easily join the rest of the world, who are now going to fight Al Thamen to prevent them from summoning that black god to this world.

"…aw, you should really trust me more, Hakuryuu."

"What the hell are you saying now, Judar?"

"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Judar smirks impishly, waving a finger at him. "You're thinking that I'll go to their side, aren't you?"

Hakuryuu exhales, letting out the breath that he's holding. He settles in the bed, patting the space beside him that Judar occupies without further prompting. Just like before, Judar easily wraps himself around him, only taking care not to press on his newer wounds. This sort of physical intimacy is still rather unsettling, because Hakuryuu now _knows_ and _understands_ the intent behind Judar's clingy touches, when he could easily brush these off before as Judar not knowing any better.

"I told you, didn't I? We're the only ones in this entire world that are exactly the same." Judar says patiently, which would be laughable if Hakuryuu isn't too busy trying to ignore the fluttering on his chest. Judar whispers the rest of the words against his thundering heartbeat. "I'm your magi and you're my king. I'll be on your side, no matter what."

"…Even if you'll end up fighting against your favorites? Against Sinbad and Kouen?"

Judar huffs, but there's no childishness in his tone, when he replies. " _No matter what_."

"Even if—"

" _No matter what_ ," Judar repeats, his eyes practically glowing with its intensity. He moves up so he straddles Hakuryuu, his right hand on top of Hakuryuu's heart while his left hand is on Hakuryuu's neck, just shy of his pulse. "That's what it means to be a king chosen by a magi, Hakuryuu. I'll follow you, whether you're winning or losing, whether you're right or wrong."

Hakuryuu doesn't back down from Judar's stare.

"But I'm _right_."

Judar smiles, a nasty twitch of his lips that should look terrifying, but only serves to calm Hakuryuu down.

"Of course you are."

And on anyone else, it would sound condescending, but Judar really means it.

He really believes Hakuryuu is _right_.

Judar leans in and captures his lips in a kiss that promises him the whole world.

And if this is what it means to finally find someone who understands him completely…

Then Hakuryuu really doesn't mind following Judar's lead.

•••

_For the sake of our never-ending grudge,  
We don't mind falling into the black_

**••• part 07 [end]**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...Then after this, Alibaba and Aladdin go to Rakushou and things to hell orz  
> ...Writing stuff for this part is a bit difficult, because I was all, heyyy I wrote something like this already didn't I??? LOL I wanted to write so many more things! But then it will never end. So. I have to control myself orz I did mention that I wanted to write something more M-rated, but didn't LOL
> 
>  **Chapter Notes:**  
>  • Hakuryuu has always addressed Al Thamen as "The Organization" pre-Belial, but he calls them as "Al Thamen" after that… I've also been thinking on when Judar told Hakuryuu about his "side" (about hating Al Thamen for controlling him since his birth, etc.). Then I remembered that the "trip" out of a dungeon does take some time (even though Judar did a shortcut by opening that transfer circle), so I just made them discuss stuff during that time.  
> • "Iron Tree" bark extracts are found to help accelerate wound healing.  
> • Hakuryuu is already bandaged and stuff when they arrived at their first base  
> • Song lyrics is from The Black © Magi OST (their duet!!!)
> 
> ...anyway. yes. finally done!!! orz


End file.
